cheekerdifudamalo's

2010-02-02T13:24:00.002+08:00

#850, LAST POST FOR MY DEAR EMOFOPHAYZE BLOG

kinda sad leaving this blog you know. i may come back one day to update this space but i shall see how.

gotta admit that this blog name is my favourite. just in case if anyone still doesnt know what it means.. it actually spells for this: "the mofo face".

am i smart or what?!?!?! LOL.

reason for leaving here: still can't put a finger to it (to why i'm moving larh!).

let's just say i'm on to my next phase of (friggin') youth-dulthood and i've decided to be more "humanly" and blog nicer stuffs than stupid stuffs. but you still can expect nonsense blabbers on my new one (if you can find out where, whahahahahaha).

oh well, i shan't go on cos it makes me feel even upset. 3 years of memories all in here, my poly life, the start of my relationship, my crappy mad brain... i'm leaving it all here today.

so bye bye 2006-2009, hello 2010 and the future!

with much much much wet love,

christine the nice one

2010-01-23T11:00:00.004+08:00

I HATE MY BIRTHDAY!

i wanna scream damn loudly but i can't.
i wanna say something but i don't know what.

my heart is burning like hell and i can't do anything about it.

someone told me to keep my head cool and not say stupid things in the heat of the moment. i'm trying that now but it's killing me.

if God wants to test my maturity by giving me shit everytime before my birthday, i rather not have it AT ALL!

sentosa now, anyone?

(i know i said i'll move my blog, no time, will move next week.)

2010-01-21T22:54:00.002+08:00

i am giving more than what i could give and i'm getting tired.. too damn tired.

my ears and heart are so damn numb from listening to all those "lines" that i wish could just shut everything out.

you're having a bad week so am i, no i'm having more than just a bad week, i've been having horrible months. i really wanna get away from every bullshit there is right here, right now.

i do what i could do but there's hardly the slightest appreciation. tell me how am i suppose to be not tired.

don't know me anymore? you made me this way.. that's the truth.

i'm so tied down, it's so hard to let go.

i don't even know what's real and what's not. what are the lies and what are the truths.

and who you even care the most, trust the most, tell your true feelings the most and i know for sure, it's not me but them.

i'm moving, don't bother checking this blog 'nymore.

2010-01-21T13:43:00.002+08:00

tell me..

is this it? i just felt it.

(don't come and tell me about Michael Jackson's "This Is It", i will fuck you right in the face.)

2010-01-21T13:26:00.003+08:00

are there any rich kind souls who would fly me in to their own private beach and let me stay there for one week for free.. providing me with my own butler and servants.

i will run around the island everyday, try to climb the coconut trees and pluck it, build mega-huge sandcastles, go diving, jump in the water like one crazy bitch who sees water for the first time, tan the whole day, go skinny dipping, catch fish and bbq it, have spa massages everyday...

any ONE?

just to get me out of this boring shit place. i know i should be thankful living here in SG where the only major natural disaster we have is flooding in bukit timah which is NOTHING compared to the earthquakes in Haiti (my sympathy and condolences to families lost).

i'm imagining myself to be in some island like the private beach mentioned in one of the twilight saga books (i'm wishing damn bloody hard). but it's impossible..

i'm such an ungrateful brat, i know that damn well.

but i just can't stand living like this.... it doesn't look that bad but IT IS THAT BAD.

okay so enough of blabbering... i wanna join YOGA!!! but it's sure as hell damn expensive...

insert -BIG SIGHS-.... why is my thinking not normal, why why why...

*love me only when i'm there,

ditch me when i'm not.

that seems to be it doesn' it?

fuckers.

2010-01-19T11:45:00.014+08:00

I JUST WANT THIS FOR MY BIRTHDAY!!!

the only birthday gift i want, PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

it'll be damn awesome to sleep with all the so-pretty-so-hot-so- sexy booties :)))

2010-01-16T03:19:00.003+08:00

God, it really sucks to be me.. and i really meant it. nobody would ever wanna live in my body, nobody, cos i can't even love it or the least bit... like it.

and obviously, i'm not being very happy enough about myself which in turn affects people around me not being happy with me cos i'm forever unhappy (or at least i thought so).

honestly, i really apologise for what i'm not and what i've been.

sorry that i can never be interesting enough..

sorry that i can never be hot enough or pretty enough...

sorry that i can't appreciate poker or any games you play...

sorry that i can't be happy with mostly everything you do...

sorry for always being sucha grumpy person..

sorry that i can never be the best you've ever have...

sorry that i'm so fucked up...

sorry that i can never give you the feeling that i'm happy...

sorry that i'm always making you feel lousy...

sorry that the things i wanna do doesn't always interest you....

sorry that my parents have to have someone as hateful as me..

sorry for being the worst gf you'll ever be with...

i'm so sorry for everything that i'm not, that you wish i was.... i don't know what else to say, but i am sure i make a better dead person than being alive. i wish i didn't even exist at all.. i hate being me.

but i am not sorry for really loving you.

if it makes you happier, i would...

2010-01-14T16:35:00.002+08:00

i just wish....WIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHH that my mind would stop torturing me.

if only IT uses that "torturing energy" to help me in my perseverance to run, but NO, it corrupts me with evilllll thoughts.

it doesn't help that i'm in my PMS mood now, it's making me feel worse than shit.. than the lowest-being on Mother Earth.

so sucky...

maybe i'm just tired, tired of everything.... tired of always thinking... tired of doing things i don't wanna do... tired of not being able to do what i wanna do... tired of just having to listen to other people's wants..

fuck it.

2010-01-12T12:03:00.003+08:00

Weekends.....

weekends were okay, not that fab.. well cos i was a tat grumpy with bibibuu practically everytime we met. but all's well now, my p is most prolly coming that's why.

Diet..

you know, my no-rice diet only lasted till thursday night..LOL.

cos i ate zhi char on friday night, tepanyaki garlic rice on saturday, zhi char again on sunday night and chicken rice yesterday for lunch.. LOL.. 3 consecutive days stuffing myself with rice.

i didn't even run last week.. lazy as a donkey. i have to start running again, i can see the pounds creeping onto the surface of my skin :((

anyhoosss, drinking vodka+ a carton of orange juice and 2 bottles of calamansi + vodka is making me poo poo like mad. extreme detox, alcohol (vodka, not beer) is AAAAAAAWWWWWEESSOOMMMMMEEEEE :)))

Baby Boy...

baby's moving house to pasir ris!!!! i saw his new room, quite big and plus there's a cute small balcony (hope he doesnt use it to smoke!!!). can't wait to see what his room will look like after eveything's set-up :)) i wanna help to decorate tooo!!!!

i'll definitely miss Simei..awwwwww. and no more East Point :(((((

and i keep forgetting to take picture of bibi in his fedora hat and semi-long ah beng gold hair. SOOO CUTE... look like those japanese hair-style catalogue you see in salons.

and baby, just wanna tell you i love you very much. Sorry for being such a grumpy and moody gf last weekend. LOL.

Birthday....

i have nothing special in mind. don't wish to have BBQ this year...

my own family dinner and most prob'ly gonna go to Johor with bibs and eat all the sinful seafood BBQ stuffs, do some cheapo shopping too.

i don't think i'll be clubbing or pubbing... okay i'll just put a hold onto that thought (bibi's gonna kill me!!!) just in case i change my mind...

End...

sorry ah, my posts are always very unorganised and random,nyahahahahaha.

& i think i'm gonna die if school starts, the trip takes at least one bloooooody hour.. SO FAR!

2010-01-09T01:29:00.001+08:00

I am really nearing my limit. I'm sick of taking craps like that.

Can't see how's it gonna get better cos I'm losing it all, every single shit tolerance I have, no more.

*ooooh kinda fun bloggin' thru tiz thing.

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2010-01-08T09:18:00.002+08:00

4 ¾ days without rice... since monday, have not counted today..

the ¼ that's missing was 'cos i steal 3 spoonfuls from bibibu during dinner. LOL.

i'm still eating noodles and potato though, don't know whether it makes much difference. but i hope it does..

i'm gonna cut off soft drinks too and alcohol (lesser alchohol).
i've been craving for bbq food for these whole week and the last, i wanna eat more sambal chilli!!!

running with bibi tonight, gonna force him to run with me :)))))

-NO RICE TONIGHT PLEASE!!!

2010-01-03T01:25:00.002+08:00

goodness, it's already the 3rd day of 2010. how much faster can time zoom past..

i'm turning 22 damn soon and it only feels like i celebrated my 21st 3 months ago, i can't take it!!! everything's going toooo damn fast...

anyways, i had BBQ on new year's eve, a make-shift aluminium tray for our pit. LOL, we went to 2 beaches and finally settled in on the 3rd one. we practically drove to east coast park and it was madly filled with cars, so we decided to move to Changi Beach and we thought we could just stay there but no... there wasn't a secluded spot were we could bbq in peace (tents and kids everywhere plus it started to drizzle and the wind was damn strong, i was damn cold). then we decided to go to Pasir Ris park... thank God it was so much more quieter and we found a empty pit where we decided to just sit there and bbq (we didn't use the pit though, only put our D.I.Y pit on top of it, LOL).

all 5 of us were already starving, we didn't even really count down, we were too hungry and immediately savage the potato salad. everything ended smoothly, stomach's filled, we survived 2009 and went into 2010 :)

i don't wanna turn 22, i'm dreading to be 22, so old :(

anyways, HAPPY 30th MONTHSARY BIBIBUUUUU! love you, love you &.... hate you too.
(see what i mean by time zooming past, we are together for 2.5 years already, really....)

smooch smooch :)

-i finally had my long-awaited rosti at the Marche @ 313 :)))))))))))))))))))))) and of course, the fabulous mushroooooommmmyyy soup.

-i'm sorry, i can't find time to upload pictures, twoooo lehzy.

2009-12-30T19:24:00.003+08:00

my body is having an internal strife.

my mind wants to run, my body want's to sleep.. oh wait... it might be the other way round but whatever it is...

mind + body = not cooperating with each other

needless to say, i'll definitely choose the slacker one, don't run... but i have to!!! i've been slacking off for 2 weeks already, the flabs are reappearing again :((

while blogging now, i could actually be running around the neighbourhood, i may even complete 2 rounds since it's only like what, 7.25pm? but i choose to dilly dally and blog about it, how idiotic. i know it yet i just don't wanna do it. humans are that stuuuuupid, well, maybe only me.

any-oh-how..... i've been having stomach aches that makes me have those soft poop, but it isn't coming out completely. so very uncomfortable.. i just wish everything can just come out all at once and not over a period of 3 days (and still counting)!

geeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzz, another year passing by, new year resolutions?

same old same old, LOSE WEIGHT (which isn't happening anymore, the only time i manage to do it was in the middle of yr 2007 after some bastard triggered me off, FUCK YOU AGAIN, oh wait, i need more people to piss me off.. hurry!!! i'm at the 25% mark....)

other than that, i wish my mind would stop wandering around on it's own and stretching so far away that i can't even pull it back;my family to be happy; everyone to be healthy; more moolahs for this coming year; me being a DISTINCTION student (i'm wishing damn hard you know, LOL); the damn casino to hurry start their training so that my bf (& other enthusiatic SGreans that quit their job just for this) won't be stressing out so much and i think that's all.

main important thing is everyone should be happy & then you get to live longer, which means you get to work longer and you get more ka-ching ka-ching :))))))))))))

yes i need meditate that for myself, have to, need to, want to :)

okay i'm gonna be an ass, i'm not running but sleeping. LOL. i'll regret, definitely!

2009-12-28T11:21:00.002+08:00

i had a damn hard time falling asleep last night.

i was sooooo tired but i just can't sleep & i keep tossing & turning around. to make it worse, i had a bad headache which feels like as if my brain was slowly being eaten.

i can't wait to quit this job but yet, i don't wanna be rotting at home doing nothing.

i'm not gonna be in the best of mood for these few weeks, i'm feeling damn bloody bored of living my damn limited boring life.

i wanna have a "DO NOT BE YOURSELF DAY". i'm sick of sticking to the rules and shit..

....i'm being insane seriously... but still, life's so bored it kills.

2009-12-28T00:42:00.003+08:00

PICTURE POST SOME OTHER FUCKIN' TIME...

for now.... i just wanna rant my very unbelievable nonsense.

NUMBER 1: i wish i was an angmoh so that i can have long legs, be hot no matter how fat i am and have big nehnehs.

NUMBER 2: i need to go somewhere where i can be myself and dont have to worry about what people might think about me or how guilty i'm gonna feel after doing the dumbest/craziest of things.

NUMBER 3: I DON'T WANNA BE 22 years old, i am at the highest level on the "Freaking Out" meter now. i just got this sudden stressed out behaviour about growing older each freaking year. i just dont wanna be 22 years old.... i dont wanna grow old, cos i still haven't enjoy enough of the youthful years YET. i'm just starting...........to..... have fun.

NUMBER 4: i hate how life is that you have to work & earn moolahs straight after finishing your education 'else you can forget about SURVIVING in this world. sad but true; money is INDEED everything.

NUMBER 5: i can't stand how my mind works 'cos it's screwing up everything.. my curiosity, my insecurity, my far-fetched thoughts are making me so exhausted. i hate to think think think, wonder wonder wonder, guess guess guess and never get to find the real answer which makes me angry.

NUMBER 6: I HATE WHITE LIES. i hate being lied to even if the lie is meant to save me from being so badly hurt. I JUST DONT LIKE IT. just give me the shit, let me be angry + extremely crazy, fuck off and come find me again after a period of time and i'll be fine. JUST DONT FUCKIN' LIE TO ME.

NUMBER 7: i think my future illness when i'm old will be being an Alcoholic. i'm just saying, it doesn't have to be true, who wouldn't wanna live healthily and happily?!

NUMBER 8: i am craving badly to get fuckin fuckin fuckin high just for 2 days and shut my mind for that 2 days. if i've got the moolahs, i'll definitely pay that 200k just to sit on the Virgin spaceship and fly outer space (of cos i can't get high, but still i just wanna get out of this stupid world).

sighs, why isn't everything i see the truth, why is there always another different story behind it? and i always get to see that whole other different story and the feeling sucks, it sucks damn bad.

from now on, i'm gonna do everything and anything i like.. my way...

i got so much more to blabber but my bro's laptop is low in batt..... so goodnight.

F.Y.I: all of those things i said don't have to link with each other, it's just what comes to my mind at that point of time.

2009-12-27T01:45:00.002+08:00

i'm feeling damn uncomfortable, damn weird.. idk why?

okay maybe i do know why but i just choose to not know why cos i dont wanna know why.. errgh, i'm just too curious + too suspicious for my own good. but i know that's not it, it's just that something is just sitting deep down in me and boy, it feels damn choking & heavy.

no i'm not suffocating, i'm just feeling weird all over.

ahhh fuck, i think i've been suppressing my feelings too much that it becomes a habit and i'm gonna burst (no i'm not angry at all, just feeling W-E-I-R-D) cos it's already exceeding the capacity that i can hold in.

i feel like going to yishun dam and scream "FUCKKKK YOUUUU WORLD" damn loudly, throw rocks into the dam, blast loud music and go mad on booze.

i think i'm too kept and too tame where i feel the need to let out and let loose.

i don't know what my extreme wild side will be but i know i'm gonna love it, well okay maybe not... ohh idk.

butttttt Singapore is not a place where i can totally let myself loose cos i dont fucking dare (yes i have no guts/balls/shit in me), HOWever, i'm still grateful for the peace and nice roads we have :))))

okay i shall be the nice christine everyone knows and just keep my insanity shut somewhere else.......again.

picture post tmr, if i'm not lazy & AVATAR was BREATH-TAKING! i wanna have a bird-ride of my own.... i wanna stay in Pandora too cos everyone's so skinny and naked :)

that wasn't a bimbo or lame remark okay please, it's true, Pandora has no fat people like me but they don't have big boobies... oh yes, the last of my bullshit in this post.

goodnight, i still feel damn weird.. i really need to let out (not FART).. sighs. i'm actually a very horrible person you knowwwwwwwww...

2009-12-25T03:13:00.002+08:00

i'm NO LONGER SLEEPY...blame it on the sudden adrenaline rush.

there's not enough activities for me to do to feed that hyper-active mode now, so i'm getting grumpy and i just feel like saying this...

"SUCK MY D**K!"

i don't really have one, but it feels overwhelming to say it cos i'm high from the Erdinger + Milo Dinosaur.

and i bite my inner lips for the 4th time at the same spot today and twice at my inner cheek today, i don't have to foresee or predict, i can confirm i'm getting ulcers!

and on a random note, i need to shit more cos i couldn't poo poo at all in KL, disastrous!

kk, 'nuff of my nonsense, gonna occupy myself with absurd thoughts & be more angry :)

2009-12-25T02:20:00.004+08:00

Merry Christmas Everyone!

yes i'm back from KL and i just came back from a X'mas party with my secondary school friends at the new Timbre at ECP.

it was a mad rush, my dad speed all the way back to Singapore so that i could reach the party in time but needless to say, i was still late. the traffic was horrific!!!

i'm so sorry that my family couldn't get to eat the supposed BBQ dinner that we always have, i know i kind upsetted my dad too.. i always do larh. so i have to really thank him for driving to KL to and fro (with me only driving 1/4 the time)..i feel damn bad cos i promised that i will drive back half the journey but i ended up sleeping the whole time. LOL.

also, to thank him for the KL trip, i think i burn a damn big hole in his pocket with my spending on shoes.

i think i'm gonna get him and my mum a present, whaahahahahahaha, i have to.

okay so my trip was alright, i walked around all the shopping centres till both my legs hurt but i DIDN'T shop till i drop. there really was nothing much to buy this time round and Vincci doesn't have my shoe size.. actually most of the shoe shops dont have the size for the shoes that i wanna buy which totally sucks damn bad!

i didn't really shop for clothes cos i only had one main aim for this trip, GET NEW SHOES and try to starve myself (i failed, bwahahaha).

verdict: i got 4 pairs of shoes!!!! i wanted to get more but i think i spent enough.. they are not entirely mine cos i'm gonna share with my sissy but yeah, i'll be wearing them most of the time. that is usually the case.

okay i'm kinda sleeepy now... will upload the pictures (non fascinating, so don't bother checking in for them!) & will update more soon!

selamat malam!

-i'm grateful for SG's clean and smooth roads, i promise i will complain lesses about the rough bumps along Tampines anymore.

2009-12-18T08:37:00.002+08:00

MORNING UNIVERSE!!!!!

some random pictures...

2 pictures of my niece when she was out shopping with us... future PlayBoy bunny (lol, kidding!).

i took this cab and he has this hanging, so funny.."BY LAW".

bib's will always play with the left overs and he will always make me eat it finish by making it into something creative.. and yes i ate finish that last roll :)

the KAMINABE (i think it has the most vulgar jap food name)..

my juice-carton-tab toe-ring from him.. whahahahahaha.

the apricot cheesecake his mum made, it has beautiful agar stars on the second layer... so far she's made a normal cheesecake and strawberry cheesecake, all not bad!

okayys, that's all..

BYE UNIVERSE!

2009-12-18T00:44:00.003+08:00

i'm very happy today... nearer to the end of the day because my baby boy made it so!!

the first sms he sent to me already made me smile, that sms has nth special, just a normal "good morning" sms (but it's already around 3 pm in the noon) but somehow i just felt damn happy.

and then he makes me even more happier by telling me he's gonna bring me to Marine Parade to eat nice food and even more more more happier by telling me he's gonna fetch me after work :))))

i've waited long enough to have him bring me to Parkway because he always refuse to follow me there! i've complained so many zillion times and finally we get to go TOGETHER WILLINGLY!!!

and he surprised me with this......

my favourite sesame garlic spread with mozzarella cheese toast!! i already ate one, damn nice!

and then we tried the nice salmon sashimi at some japanese shop which is very worth it...

and we had the nice char kway tiao... ( I'VE WAITED MORE THAN A YEAR FOR THIS!!!)

and then he let me try the nice oolong flavoured milk tea (i love the packaging of the straw, yes the straw was wrapped up in a plastic!)...

and i get to "walk walk" at the shops i like!!!!

whahahahahahahahahha, i'm damn happy, i wish everyday was like this! but then again if everyday was like this, i wouldn't feel as happy as today cos it will be a routine and nothing special.

okay i still can't get over with the excitement..whahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

i have to sleep now, so enough of showing off how happy i am, LOL, sorry for the hype soooo..

NIGHTS LOVELY WORLD!!

bibi i loveeeeeeeee you.

2009-12-16T21:25:00.000+08:00

the feeling sucks when you start running after the weekends, every single stamina you have goes back to ZEROOO.

pauses like that are making me feel ultra shittified, i feel so useless and angry! i think i need to run during the weekends too, so that i won't feel the massive lost of energy when i go jogging on weekdays.

i'm back to 1 round now, fucking sucks bad. christmas next week, i'm definitely dead and with my KL trip ahead, i'm even dead-er than dead.

and so sorry, i can't quit drinking, it's too awesome but the alcohol is making me put on weight.

sighs, the joy of life (drinking), gone... why do i have to choose?

yes, i'm blabbering and i'm gonna stop now, to continue working out... 'm so lazy, tah!

2009-12-13T23:11:00.002+08:00

the weekends weren't so bad afterall despite the bad stomach ache i had and the rashes that's becoming worse (i still ate seafood yesterday though, how could i ever resist?)

The Office marathon (i used to hate that show, but now, i kinda like it, I HATE DWIGHT!), free flow of Marigold orange juice with those never-ending booze (well, it's actually finishing already, my bf is a water-tank remember!), SUSHI TEI- me lovey the sashimi salad and sushi tei dressing!!!!!, the make-do marigold juice carton tab toe-ring that i wore even to the toilet..
challenging tic-tac-toe at the playground during the weeee hours (& i mean 5am..), falling asleep at the end of the playground slide & counting stars which i hardly ever get to see so many of them ... the failed attempts of waking up early just to eat Mac breakie... the 5 hour long naps that wasted our day away (but we replace it back by staying awake at night and sleeping at dawn, bwaha)....

wellllll...

that's my weekend where time was only spent drinking away, watching shows, sleeping at irregular times, dissing each other, irritating each other, sulking at each other, loving each other and savouring the precious moments of each other's presence.

i love it :)

and thank you Mother Nature for not spoiling my weekends by only making my p come today :)

2009-12-10T19:42:00.003+08:00

some habits die hard,

i totally understand.

bad habits stay, good habits never last..

i can never disagree.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

i've got a very bad tummy ache for the whole day and i think i went to the toilet about 6 times to do the biggie and around 4 times to do the smallie cos everytime i do the biggie, i feel so dehydrated, i gotta drink more water and after that, the urge to do the smallie was so frequent.

honestly, though it may be crude, the place where-the-sun-dont-shine hurts preeeeeeettty bad.

whatever i take in, comes out an hour later. my stomach feels so hollow yet so bloated.

i'm gonna take a rest from jogging today cos i've been jogging 2 days straight and i finally feel the ache in my tighs. i think i could keep this routine up if i tried really hard, which i really did especially after getting up from my nap and the bed is sooooo comfy that if anyone drags you out of it will be asking for a cranky foul scolding from me.

but hey i did it, so congrats to myself :)

plus i don't wanna get a tummy ache half way while running like this morning when i needed the toilet so bad while i was driving to school and i could feel "it" coming out. i know.. gross, but it was very horrible. i promise not to laugh at my boy anymore cos he's so prone to that situation. LOL.

i'm damn hungry now and i'm craving for shit loads of sinful stuff (LIKE ROSTI FROM MARCHE!!!!!!) and i gotta go to the toilet again..................

okayhurry..

netbookblackberryiphone?

i've asked this many times but still no answer..

many advice but no answer...

my sissy getting itouch so....

HOW?!

2009-12-08T23:07:00.002+08:00

ME FOUND MY PHONE'S USB.

I'M HAPPY, VERY HAPPY...for now.

but still, whatever, i found it so now you get to see more photos!

(not like anybody's anticipating for photos, but who cares!!)

i found my usb..

i shld go bathe now,

i stink.

2009-12-08T10:22:00.001+08:00

mad cravings for marche, mad mad mad cravings.

and i need to see a doctor real bad, real real real bad.

desperately need to lose weight now,

NOW NOW NOW!

fuck,

i'm sucha angry person lately.

2009-12-07T00:16:00.002+08:00

i'm feeling damn agitated.

dammmmmmmmmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnnn

A-G-I-T-A-T-E-D

to the point where

i just feel like screaming

"fuck you"

to every single thing i see,

which is

EVERYTHING.

why are sluts always so hot?!

seriously fuck myself,

i'm gonna do sth which i've never done before.

show me the MOOOOOLLAAAHHSS!

fuck you

FUCK YOU

* it's a fuckin' sign that my p is coming, so stay away and you'll be fine __

2009-12-01T13:17:00.002+08:00

the world needs to be more interesting than this.

okay maybe Singapore should be more interesting than this 'cause i am bored like fuck.

and can i please stop growing fatter, it's sickening.

2009-11-29T23:04:00.002+08:00

wooooo, i need to run more next week cos i ate so much this week and i missed out one jogging session today.

had so much sinful food this week especially with last night's bbq, the food were all damn nice and i ate quite alot!!!!

another big bang bbq coming up on Christmas Day, the day which i'll die terribly again.

i feel damn good running 1.5 rounds now, but i think i need work abit harder to stop the walking and jog more. ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzZzzzzzzzzz, so damn bloody hard.

work tmr and i need to do christmas shopping! so fun to write a list of what to get.. nyahahaha!

i really need to cut the booze, it's the factor that makes me so fat now!

2009-11-26T09:22:00.002+08:00

oh yeaaaah!!! watching New Moon on friday night, so i guess i have to put my Ninja Assasin on hold. sorry Rain, vampires are more important than you for now. LOL.

can't wait to see ashley greene (hottie hottie, i love Alice) and dakota fanning (she's gettin' prettier each time!).

baby mocks at me on how kan chiong i got for getting the tickets, what to do... LOL. honestly i think the Edward in the story book is more charming than the one in the movie. not saying that Rob Pat is not cool, he is, for being so fair and charming but i think i prefer the story book one.

i can't wait for the last of the Twilight Series to come out, can't imagine how they will dress Kristen as Bella cos in the story, she's being portrayed as a damn hot babe with luscious long hair and hot body. Kristen better not ruin the image of hot bella...

okay anyways, i've been in a "giving way" mood for this whole week. i keep giving way to cars and buses especialy and i feel damn good, LOL.

and i think my baby boy is damn cute. he set his own alarm to wake me up at 5.15am to go for a run, cos he knows i keep getting upset for not being able to wake up but the thing is, when he called me that day, i wasn't intending to wake up cos i ran the night before. LOL...

he always surprises me at the weirdest timings, with no warning and it really is very surprising. it is really an "Out of the blue" moment... which i hardly ever experience.

silly but sweet boy really.. can never ever know what's gonna happen next when i'm with him. his mood and character changes anytime so yeah, quite hard.

i love you bibibu :)

1.5 rounds again tonight!

2009-11-24T12:47:00.003+08:00

Biggest Loser Asia premieres tonight!!!!!!

damn excited to watch, maybe i could get a few workouts from there. that is if i've got the equipments or best, no need equipments, use the natural environment around :)

I NEED TO FIND MY PHONE'S USB CABLE, fuck la.

i really can't rmb where i chucked it or where i brought it to. i've searched every crook and cranny of my room and i still can't find it. maybe i would need to search in all my bags that's hanging, i always chuck things there to finish up a fast spring cleaning session, LOL.

and can i share one extremely good tip in losing weight.. it's been said so many times but yet ppl take it for granted or, they don't have the time to do it.

EAT A HEARTY BREAKFAST!!! even if you wanna diet, dont diet your breakfast away cos it helps to keep your hunger minimal.

i'm serious, after eating my breakfast i only need to eat small meals (like cookie) to keep me full even after dinner.

of course don't keep eating snacks larh, it doesn't help in losing weight.

and guess what, i woke up at 5.15am today and i was gonna get off my bed to change and run.. buttt i just sat on my bed and stoned and thought of how long my hair's gonna take to dry if i wash it later and will i be sleepy for work and i end up not running again.

sickening thoughts! it always puts me down when i start thinking and thinking and thinking.

to pay that back, i gotta do double for every thing tonight, if i can that is. i know i can't, i'm sucha lazy fuck. LOL.

oohkay, lunch time.... adios!

2009-11-23T13:54:00.005+08:00

on Sunday afternoon while on the way to Suntec, i passed by this car shop and it was love at first sight.......

with the old school Volkswagon Beetle, in shimmering purple, that's for sale!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it was so damn pretty and i just fell for it, though there's so many other beetles on the road but i LOVE THIS ONE!

i can't find a picture of it online, and the bus i was on just zoom pass so i couldn't capture the beautiful car.

so anyway, when sth captures my heart and my eyes, i have the habit to search online and guess what, i fell in love with more of the old school Volkswagon cars.

all so handsome, so pretty, so cute and very grungey.... just see what i mean!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE THEM, ESP THE RED ONES!

when i'm rich, i'm gonna get them all :))))))

2009-11-21T11:01:00.002+08:00

I'M YEARNING TO:

eat the Rosti @ Marche
go for a jog in this non-lasting weather
slap some people's face
play my SIMS 24/7
do some shopping & get new shoes
lose 5 kg by next week (impossible, really)
go for a short trip
do some christmas shopping (for nth)

DRINK BOOZE,
GET HIGH!
(i've been drinking very little, FYI)

really very little, but it's good cos i get to keep my belly small, LOL.

maybe i should come out with a Christman Wishlist & sent to Santa,
i'll try and see whether it works.

2009-11-20T13:23:00.002+08:00

whahahaha, i scraped through last night of avoiding my dad.

cos i napped for 2 hours when i reached home and then i went to run for another hour and i spent the next 1 hour playing the computer and the last 1 hour watching ANTM and he finally went to sleep. LOL... I DIDN'T GET TO PLAY MY SIMS. damn it.

am i smart or not?!

but i know i can't get away for that long, it'll be damn tiring to plan my hours according to his existance.. ZZzzzZzz.

and i hate listening to news about polytechnics having new courses, makes me feel regretful of not being born 3 years later. Perfumery course, spa management, INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS, vetinary biology etc etc. WHAT'S THIS MAN?! so unfair.

anyway not like i can get in with my pathetic loser results.

New Moon is out in the USA.. why is it always taking so damn long in Singapore. baby watch with me, you have to!

i think my brother looks like Taylor Lautner, the face, body-wise my bro is not really there yet. i'll post a comparison photo when i get a shot of my bro's full body length. LOL....

gotta work now, ciaos.

should i get a Netbook, Iphone or Blackberry?

2009-11-19T14:51:00.003+08:00

i made a promise to bibi ytd night.. i don't think he will even remember it when the day comes. LOL, if he really does, i'm totally dead cos i know i can't make it.

why was i so confident in promising to do it by Christmas.. my god, i'm so idiotic.

but i didnt mention any penalty though, LOL, so quite safe.

but i really want to make it this time round...

and the weather is getting so wet every day it's impossible to jog at night and i don't wanna renew my gym membership, i hate having to check whether there's alot of people at the gym, whether there's any vacant machine. SUCKS. and i end up being so lazy to go over....

running on the treadmill is an utter bullshit, they don't give me muscle aches even if i run for 30 mins while i get aches when i run at Simei for less than 30 mins. STUPID.. okay larh maybe i didn't give my all when using the treadmill.

and i'm very pissed off at my dad for opening my bank statement. basically opening any letters that's designated to ME! actually i wouldnt mind him opening my statement if i was loaded but now he knows i spend money like crazy and i never save.

SO UNLUCKY, i've been checking my mail box everyday but it just have to be yesterday that i didnt check and it came! FUCKERNEHNEH!

now he got more things to be sarcastic at me.. damn i hate that the most.

i hope i don't get shit tonight, purposely sleep early tonight! whahahahahahahahaha... but cannot, i wanna play my Sims 2... i'm getting hook on it again and my sister is crazy about adopting kids... the Sims way i mean :))

anyhoooooosssss, ciaos...

please dont rain tonight, please dont rain tonight....

2009-11-17T08:28:00.003+08:00

it's always before or during my p that i have the most urge to exercise like crazy and after the whole craving saga, i'll be lazy like mad.

so obviously now, i'm thinking about the overwhelming energy i'm gonna have if i'm gonna run;when i run, it feels very addictive.

maybe it's the extra amount of hormones produce when we girls have our p, just maybe... thus the sudden enthusiasm.

i feel like running now and i just found out that my gym membership expired on the 15th of November.. just great. the last time i went there was the time i hurt my stomach and i've never been there since which is one week ago. I WASTED ONE WEEK OF GYM USAGE and THE CHANCE OF HAVING NICE ABS.

i'm craving for that ache again but i don't want it to be as painful as the last time. i still feel the strain when i stretch, i can feel the limitation of stretching also. i hope that's how muscles and abs feels like, that contraction. LOL...

i was suppose to go last night, but i was all too lazy and the ground was wet and my p is still flowing quite a lot so yeah.. LOL.. reasons.

but tonight i will! i swear!

after running with my new shoes the other time at Simei, it felt damn good, now i know why my knees hurt. the sole's of my old shoes were the cause of it cos it was totally worn out and flat. there's no grooves and the bounce i needed. it felt so different with the new shoes. the run was smoother, more bouncier, i could last longer and my thighs felt the strain!!!!

i think tonight i can run 1.5 rounds. i think only, i wish for 2. nyahahahahaha, i wanna run with bibs again, it feels good holding his hands while we are cooling down and walking back to his place. baby wednesday okay?

and he looks sexy sweaty, not forgetting very stinky too, LOL.

oh yeah baby if you're reading this, i never bring my hp today, so don't wonder anyhow why i never answer you. actually, not like you'll call me or anything until 7pm cos you'll be sleeping liek a pig. just in case though..

2009-11-10T20:46:00.003+08:00

i'm having a freakin' bad headache now and the irritating unpleasant techno music from the pasar malam opposite my house is making it hurt even more.

i can feel my veins thumping when i pressed my fingers to the side of my forehead. it's okay, this will help me sleep earlier and then i'll be able to get up at 5.15am later on.

i'm suppose to work out today, but the fuckin' gym is so full and i'm so lazy and my head hurts and my stomach still hurts. i'm giving myself reasons again, argh i hate it.

i can't wait for pay day! i'm gonna make a shopping list and get the stuffs which i need the most, i can already see them flying with wings around my head.

i really have to save this month and i have to go for a full body check-up. i hope i'm healthy besides being fat and flabby.

and I CANT FIND MY USB FOR MY PHONE. don't know where the hell i keep it, i have so many photos from Sabai Sabai that i haven't upload in facebook. the funny thing is most of the pictures do not have my face in it cos i was busy taking pictures for the guys. LOL.

on a random note, my sport shoes are slippery, this is not good! i don't like slippery shoes cos i have the tendency to always slip and fall.

sian, it's only tuesday and i'm feeling so depressed.

I NEED THE OOOMMPPPHHH!

i hope you rot & fail, LOL.

2009-11-10T11:54:00.003+08:00

some people are just born to piss me off, to be my nemesis.

furrrcck.

i do this, they do that, i do that, they do this.

so irritating, get a freaking life of your own please!

*i'm gracious, kind and forgiving.. i'm gracious, kind and forgiving...

it's not worth my anger..

2009-11-09T23:24:00.003+08:00

my stomach area still hurts, i think i really strained it.

the boy keeps complaining that i'm being very noisy and he assures me that muscles are forming that's why. i want to believe it too, but it's too painful to be muscle aches resulting from doing ab-cises.

besides, muscles won't just form right above my very huge tummy.

counting today, its already 5 days. where got ache for so long one?! but whatever, i hope tmr it'll be less painful cos i've been hunching my back till my body aches too. i can't stretch or get up from bed properly, i can't stand immediately but to slowly get up and i can't eat properly!

but i'm not losing weight so there's nth to be gleeful about.

my mum and dad keep calling me FAT! keep asking me what i eat, why my hips and arms so big, why run so much still so fat (this is what my dad say).. HOW I KNOW WHY?! my body doesn't wanna lose weight i exercise so much also no use.

maybe i really got some illness that's killing my cells slowly so i can't lose weight. WHO KNOWS?!

ahhh, when i don't eat you complain say why i never eat, wanna diet is it? when i eat, you say i eat too much become so fat (okay larh, it's true i've been eating alot ever since the start of the year, i don't know why maybe cos i'm happier?).

zzzzzzzzzzzaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhh, i exercise till i become skinner for you two okay? don't ask me why i suddenly become thinner, dont ask me anything regarding my weight!

i want to sleep now, i'm so depressed.

2009-11-07T01:44:00.003+08:00

my stomach still is hurting even more. must be the muscle ache starting to set in plus the injury i got, i still don't know whats wrong!?

watched Saw 6 with that boy, you know, that boy, the boy who always breaks my heart and put it back together again. he loves doing that to me and he loves when i decide to sayang him again and hug him like a baby.

that stupid boy always comes out with a new word everyday.
today's word of the day is "kid-diot" which actually translates to "kidding lar idiot". LOL.

Saw 6 doesn't disappoint, you need to go watch it. you want bloody, horror, gore and a life lesson, you get it there! that boy & me had no appetite to finish our popcorn within that 30 mins of the show.

that boy & me decided to play the toy grabbing machines in the arcade. we tried so many times for the ultra huge pig at the arcade in Illuma. we couldn't get it and we gave up. i wonder how those people can get a plastic bag full of those soft toys, it seems impossible!

the pig was really ultra huge and fluffy and the cheeks were so fat and round. too bad we can't get it, it would be a nice replacement of that boy for me. when he's not around, i'll hug it and pinch the cheek of that pig like what i always do to that boy :)

& i think i've got some illness that's yet to be known.

my back of my hips near to the spine keeps getting a tingly & mild itchy feeling, sometimes i feel a sudden sharp pain too. and i get chest pains at you know where and my ear drums will suddenly block and i can hear vibration in my ear.

i think i'm gonna die soon, i better go for a check-up once i get this month's pay.

i have to, 'else i'll die w/o reasons or die of worrying.

nights people, i hope i don't die early, i love my family and that boy so much.

2009-11-06T15:34:00.002+08:00

i went to gym last night at 8 plus, and it wasn't empty... so sad.. everything was fully utilised.

i had to wait to use the machines. when one of the treadmill was vacant, i just went on it, didnt wanna waste time waiting for the cross trainer.

i didn't really run for the whole 25 minutes.. i did speed walking and sprinting upslope with a variation of 1-2 mins each, i could die doing that. i perspired damn fast for this..

when i was looking down on the treadmill, it looks like as if the belt was damn fast and i was running kinda fast but when i look into my reflection on the glass, i look like i was jogging and not running. so disheartening!

used the cross trainer for another 30 mins.. and i did stupid stuffs after that i think i hurt my stomach area.

stuffs like trying out the gym ball ( i think it was lau hong cos it was so squeeshy) and i couldnt get up while doing the sit-up, LOL. managed to adjust myself abit and did 20 times.

and then i decided to borrow the yoga mat and try out some ab-cises with the ball, i gave up after awhile cos i couldnt get up at all. so embarrasing, thank god no one really notice me. took away the ball and just did leg-lifts and crunches.

on my last move i decided to try out some different style of doing crunches, i thought i could get up but i was wrong. i didn't have any strength to do it and i think i ended up straining and hurting my stomach area. it felt so swollen straight after and it was hurting so bad till today.

goddddd, but i think i perspired quite alot but the strain wasn't worth it. if it could give me abs. hell yah i don't mind hurting it everyday.

LOL!

2009-11-05T19:09:00.002+08:00

i've got so many "split-second"

"for once" moments today.

i guess this is the time where it calls for all my memories to be flooded back into

my mind again.

where i know i should be sane and think properly,

and not be stupid anymore.

no more.

2009-11-05T16:35:00.002+08:00

i really wish i was hidden somewhere right now where no one can ever find me, talk to me or touch me.

god i'm really dying of the exhaustion of fucking explaining, defending and reasoning myself out when whoever don't even give a damn about whatever i have to say or said. because whatever i've said is always chucked away in god-knows-where or simply ignored or i'm answered back with groundless arguements.

why is it always this way??! i am feeling fucking tired and fucking miserable that i'm too lazy or even have the extra energy to rebuke anything anymore.

DO YOU FUCKING GET IT OR NOT?!

I AM FUCKING TIRED!

i am the control freak, the insensitive one, the one who doesn't wanna spend time, the one who is doing everything wrong/dislikable, the one who is always at fault, the one who always spoils mood, the one who is always picking a quarrel, the one who is always crazy, the one who is always so stubborn etc etc.

tell me seriously from all those, can you see anything likeable about me, anything that really works in my favour, any reason at all for you to stay with me. if 98 out of a 100 things about me are bad, why why why why why do you still want me?

i'm tired of being accused of things i'm not, being scolded for nothing, explaining myself knowing it's useless, going through that hot unreasonable temper, being treated unfairly when so many things i did (that you hate) is what you do to me. i can list everything but i am just too freaking tired because you can crap shit out and make it seem so true. whats the point really?

i really wish i can be alone somewhere tonight with no one in sight, with no mumurings, no nothing!

i am so pathetic, i know i am, being treated this way.

i just feel like fading away and go some place where no one can ever find me again.

i should just disappear... and never come back..

i'm so angry yet so tired and yet so sad.

2009-11-04T22:03:00.002+08:00

i've never been happier and more focus in gym today... because it was EMPTY!!! i could comfortably do my weights, take my own sweet time trying out stupid movements and i feel awesome. damn awesome.

i glanced through towards the gym from my room window and i thought it was full cos there were so many human movements but i just decided to heck and go cos i missed out 2 supposed sessions.. & maybe just nice ppl get off my favee machine. and i was damn lucky, no one was using it!

okay so i extend the time for another 5 mins today, almost gave up and wanted to switch to the treadmill and start sprinting but i decided not to cos my knees would hurt damn bad. maybe i should have done brisk walking but i was too excited to do the weights when no one was around, i must take this once in a gym session opportunity!

and when i went home, even more happy. got brown rice to eat again with so many indo spicy stuffs, i prolly put back double the calories i lost, LOL.

i should start going at 8pm, cos thats the time i went today and it was empty, well maybe not everyday will be like that but i certainly hope so!

oorhhhwighttys i gotta shower and then i'll spend 45 mins playing The Sims and then i'll sleep :)

2009-11-01T15:18:00.002+08:00

my first virgin experience to sabai sabai was quite okay. enjoyed myself pretty much, i think i embarrassed myself quite alot too.

i can't really remember the details halfway thru the night, lol.

met up with the 3 musketeers last night and we went to sabai sabai too.

melvin is so fucking skinny, well not really that extremely skinny but he lost so much weight. i keep complaining he's so skinny and it's not fair cos i want to lose weight too,LOL. they ask me join army if i wanna lose weight, whahahahahahahaha.

alex is still the same, once a dad forever a dad. he was annoyed with the china girls sitting beside our table, they keep playing dice throughout the night, hahaha. also, they keep attracting and hooking guys through-out the night.

jack also still the same, forever with that long fringe, forever dressing up like a true taiwanese star (i meant S.H.O.W, lol) and forever having the same pair of skinny chopstick legs. eh but i really like his windbreaker-jacket. damn nice, he said he was gonnna give me the website, but he never lor :(

so anyways, we were contemplating whether to order 1 bottle of martel or 2 bottle of martel because of the difference in price. but end up, we ordered 3 buckets of heiniken. LOL. wasted jack's & my energy of wrecking our brains on which to order.

we had cup noodles at 7-11 after, all of us were hungry. i was starving cos i keep smelling and seeing ppl eating chicken wings and nugget in the bar, make me so tempted.

i don't know why but even in the midst of the noisy loud music bar, i still feel it's so quiet and silent. ohhh, i did enjoy myself though, seeing people making a fool out of themselves, hooking each other up, gays hooking my favourite guitarist on stage, and counting how much flower garlands the singers receive.

no pin-up for halloween this year, i swear next year i'll wear a freaking home made costume. no more waiting for answers of who's going or not. I AM FUCKING GOING EVEN IF NO ONE'S GOING.

and here's another abrupt stop for my post....

gooodbye.

2009-10-29T16:31:00.002+08:00

i wanted to say sth but i decided not to.

i think i'm improving on keeping my cool now. well it's a good thing isn't it.

i've given up on trying to reason out and proving myself cos it's getting too tiring. going through the damn cycle all so frequently is getting very tiring till the extend of getting heart burns when i recieve an SMS.

all because i know what's going to be in there, all because i know too well what's the ending, all because i know it's never gonna change and everytime it's always the same.

god i feel so damn nua and sleepy today that i'm too lazy to even go through part 3 or 4 or 5 of what's happening. usually i'll be the extreme stubborn crazy bitch, today i'm being mild.

oh well what to do? the ending is always the same, why go to it when you know it already.

I AM SOOOOOOO SLEEEEEEEEPY, fuck.

2009-10-28T00:20:00.003+08:00

fuck, i'm so fucking pissed.

SOME PEOPLE just gotta bring the worse out in me. DAMN YOU wussy phores.

ARGH, fuck fuck fuck you.

anyways, i just watched ris low's vid (i know i'm a bit slow, but what to do, i'm working, no time for youtube!). her bra and bikini are the most horrendous looking things i've ever saw. maybe cos i've seen too many hot girls wearing hot lingeries, but seriously, her's are so damn ugly.

no offence though, but it's the fuckin' damn truth. WHAT KIND OF BRA AND BIKINI ARE THOSE?!

gosh, i'm still pissed.

christine, please be gracious, kind and demure, don't let pussy things piss you off, it just isn't worth it especially when you know you can't help it.

then again, FUCK YOU.

"nice legs, daisy dukes makes a man go -whistle whistle-...." 3 OH 3.

"slut face, cb fucks makes me go -FUCK YOU FUCK YOU-" christine.

2009-10-27T13:42:00.002+08:00

tried out my new shoes, it's sooo comfy and my feet weren't burning up like they used to.

forced my ass to the gym last night and i SWEAT like a PIG. i feel damn awesome after doing it for 30mins but when i faced the stupid gym mirror to the weights, i felt like i was the Queen of Blubber.

the freaking mirror was reflecting all my fats and cellulite back at me lorh, damn it. dampen my spirits but i still did the damn weights. and the worse thing is there's 3 other MEN doing weights and we are all facing the same mirror, imagine the awkwardness!

okay whatver..

today's tuesday, i've got 4 more days to work my ass off. i'm still unsure of what to wear for halloween.. zzaargh. maybe i won't wear any costume at all and just spend my money on the boooooze.

booze makes me fat too, but i love to drink (:

alrightys, gotta get back to work now.. TAH!

2009-10-26T00:41:00.003+08:00

had a pretty long weekend.

applied for my Uni, gotta wait til Feb for my application results. major mood fuckin' there cos what if i don't get in??? i have to wait for another bloody year again?! so anyways, advice is to apply for another back-up course. like as if registration don't need moolahs like that!

got my sport shoes too, i didn't bargain, i dont know why. i guess it's quite alright for that price, i don't wanna know how much it's selling in stores just in case i find out i get cheated. LOL. can't wait to wear it tmr and try out the difference!

accompanied baby the whole night for his SF4 tournament. if i were older, i can die of a heart attack. the excitement was too hurting for my heart, LOL. i think i could even pee in my pants, nyahahaha.

stayed over at his place and had to wake up damn early the next mornin'. but we get to eat at Mac's for our breakie and get excited over the new monopoly game that Mac's having. LOL.

i went home and bibi went to help his mom for some event. we were suppose to meet again at around 7pm but he woke me up at 3pm saying that he's done helping and he's gonna fetch me. I WAS SLEEPING LORH, my designated alarm was at 3.30pm and i intended to go to the gym to try out my sport shoes.

i was so sleepy cos we slept at around 4am the previous night and woke up at 8.3oam on that day itself. so he picked me up, we went back to his place, slept all the way till 7pm and i had cravings for "ma la huo guo" so we went bugis to eat.

overall, it wasn't as nice as expected but our stomachs were bursting. so bibs played awhile at the arcade while digesting the food and we went home after.

today, our goal was to visit the costume shops for halloween. cut the whole thing short, we finally managed to find the biggest costume shop and get to play with all the wigs and stuff. everything is so bloody expensive lorh. i wanted to try out the clothes but the fitting room was too open and there were gaps that people can peek in, so i didnt and we left empty handed.

THEY DON'T HAVE MY PIN-UP GIRL COSTUMES!!! so sad...

so we are still unsure of what to wear for this halloween. bibi suggested me to wear harlequin (The Joker's wife who is damn bloody hot and i'm not!) but i too fat larh and she's so busty. then he'll wear The Joker himself. aiyerh, very hard to decide when i'm so fat and hard to get nice costumes.

so anyways, i'm still browsing thru this particular website with so many hottie girls modeling in the sexy costumes and i am so envious of their bodies. they make me wanna wear everything!

damn shit. i want their body. soda pop girl, taxi driver girl, red riding hood, snow white, strawberry shortcake girl and so many hot military girls..

ahhhhhhh 5 more days left.. it's either do or die!

i should stop yakking now, i promised to be early for work this week. LOL, part 2 of whining tomorrow!

sorry, i dont know why i can't really link my sentences well, so pardon the erupt changing of subjects and ending of posts, nyahahahaha.

2009-10-22T22:41:00.002+08:00

my TGIF came earlier.. i should call it TGIT!

thank god it's thursday cos i'm on leave on friday! damn happy my weekends are here earlier but the thought of me having to travel to clementi to register for my school tomorrow bores me.

but wait, i'm going queensway after to buy yours truly..me... a new sport shoe! time to change sport shoes!! so i guess that balances everything out for tmr, hahahha.

i'm so bored, i am so sleepy but i dont wanna sleep cos it's still so early. if i wasn't working, i bet i can stay up to watch Naruto or my dramas till dawn and wake up at 12pm to continue the cycle.

why is Singapore so small, i can't do shit here. not that i really yearn to do shit, lol. i just wanna do my things anytime anywhere without having to think of where to go, what are the consequences, what others will think, who will i bump into, will i be bored after etc etc.

i need a BIG BIG BIG BIG place to leave in but i like Singapore's immunity to disasters and security (though SG is not really that a safe place).

i wanna go somewhere to hike, trek, play, have fun, party where i won't get bored and shop till i really drop. count me lucky or blessed to be born in this family of mine, where my parents are strict and i'm brought up kinda well(i know what you're thinking, but i'm damn nice okay!) but i know my parents were not expecting me to be quite rebellious during my secondary school.

nah maybe i shouldnt say rebellious cos i am not rebellious, i shld prolly say at the extreme end of my puberty. LOL. i did all sort of stupid things which will bring shame to real gangsters, hahahaha. but whatever, who gives a fuck, it's the christine-way of doing things.

honestly i can't really remember some parts of my sec school and i think i was a damn loner & loser whenever i got home. i must be a pain in both my parents' arse. i know i don't give the best of example to my siblings, but hey, i think i'm born to be this way.

i like doing things that i feel like doing at that moment of time. i MUST do the things that i feel like doing at that moment of time. i have to, i just have to 'else i'll throw a damn hissy fit or pms for the rest of the day. call it a pussy tantrum, call it princessy, call it spoilt, i seriously don't give a shit.

maybe i belong to the life of a gypsy, a nomad or whoever that does stuffs freely whenever they want to, move around or go around where ever they want to. do crazy stuffs once in a while and the next thing they know, they are behaving like angels going around saying "World Peace" or "Stop the War" and then they do crazy things again like rioting and become calm again the next moment. the cycle goes on and i seriously think i'm like that.

personality disorder maybe, but again who cares when i'm enjoying every single shit that's happening. BEST OF ALL, NO DECISION MAKING, just do anything anytime.

i'm probably getting tired of being the nice and sort-of- an obedient girl thus the rantings. but i really don't wanna upset my parents again, esp my dad. after my sec sch days, the gap between us is so wide that.. aww i dont know. he still thinks i'm very "rebellious" and naughty.

i guess i am, but not the gangster way, totally not that way, will never be that way.

all in all i really wanna study hard, make myself worthy of my parents' moolahs that they're gonna spend on me and earn more moolahs back to repay them.

yeah.. for now that's my ultimate goal.

but if i were to let myself out, I FUCKING WANNA GO ON A ROAD TRIP TO KL NOW!

nyahahahahahahahaha!

2009-10-22T13:40:00.002+08:00

i had my craving satisfied.

the orgasmic banana oreo smoothie ftw! plus i had hotdog & cheese pancake, that's enough for my lunch. so damn full and my tummy's gonna explode. i need to go to the loo asap.

thank goodness that half of the day's gone, i can't wait to go home and get onto the cross-trainer.

i hope the gym's empty, i hate having alot of people.. i always have to use my bino to see into the glass windows of the gym to check whether there's alot of people if not i'll have to waste my trip there and go back home.

i'm a perv & retard right, i know. my mum said i was crazy to use the bino. LOL.

alrighty, i gottttaa get back to work. dah!

2009-10-21T23:19:00.003+08:00

oooh what a day, bus 8 fucked my morning up.

work's kinda borin' today. i was in a confused mode from 4 to about 5.15pm because i was doing the staff card and i didn't know whose to do first and whose needs to be downloaded first before printing.

oh well, everything came out quite fine in the end so nothing to be confused about now (:

i'm craving for banana oreo smoothie. i shouldn't have bought it yesterday cos once i have it, i can't stop my craving for it. ah crap it's so fattening, but it taste damn bloody fine... gosh. the ice-cream enhances the amount of calories.

i should start counting calories again, it helps so much in losing weight.

gym day tmr, need to work harder and increase resistance.

'm taking leave on friday for my application to IMI University in SIM. you know, i haven't really decided on it yet but i don't so much time to dilly dally about my decisions again.

nada yada no. i can't afford to waste another year, so that's it christine, DEADline is by thursday midnight. its either Hospitality or International Business.

decision making sucks, it's one of my biggest greatest flaws ever. that means i can never be a BIG BOSS, awwwwwwwww.

i MUST sleep now. i've been kinda late for work since last week, i told myself to sleep early this week, but somehow i can't do it. so next week i really need to sleep at 10.30pm the latest.

AND I NEED TO START EATING MY DINNER BEFORE 8PM which is HIGHLY impossible cos my dear mother always cooks at 7.30pm after watching her taiwanese drama and also cos i always come home so late. LOL.

i need to make good habits (i learnt this from someone hot and sexy, LOL).

zzzzzzzzooookkay, gotta stop rambling and really sleep.

WAN-AN.

2009-10-19T23:55:00.002+08:00

i did it! nyahahaha, i practically force myself to stay put till the last second.

my knees hurt so bad, it was so stiff and hard. i'll try harder again tmr.

happy happy happy, time to sleep.

i need a new sport shoes, the current one i own is probably more than 10 years old. whahahaha, it was my bro's when he was in primary school so can you imagine how big his feet were. lol.

okay i really oughta sleep. nightsy.

2009-10-18T23:46:00.004+08:00

had a big feast on saturday night. my dad's 50th birthday and all in all, i gotta say it was successful. my dad's happy, everyone's happy and i'm happy cos everyone love the durian cake!

and baby came along too, hehehehehehe(:

the food's okay. not really very fabulous but it's nice, they have so many weird dishes though.

we had another dinner again just now, this time is for my own family and my close indon cousins. i had my fill of black pepper crab! whahahahah i damn happy.

now i have to work 4 times harder to lose 2kg. 2 more weeks and it'a halloween. don't think i can make it in time, i haven't even get my costume yet! my pin-up girl costume... nyeh.

i thought of having our own party at someone's house where we get bottles of alcohol and down it all night long. SOUNDS GOOD RIGHTTTT!

i'll see how, we'll see how(:

ok, back to my hongkong drama and back to work tmr.. why no public holiday?!

2009-10-17T04:08:00.001+08:00

oohhhh, what a night.

should i or should i not tmr?
so early, dont think i can wake up either.

good morning, i'm gonna sleep now
but...
nnot till i've done what i wanna do.

-winks-

2009-10-15T20:51:00.002+08:00

i spend maybe close to half an hour in the gym just now. only 30 mins, and i perspired within the first 5 mins on the eliptical machine, the rest of the time, i look like a goldfish-human that's going to have an asthma attack. LOL.

i can't remember when was the last time i was there. early this year or last year, when i was prepping up for my 21st but as usual, fail. nyahahaha. i really lose all my will-power and stamina to conquer that rocking machine.

i'm sucha loser, couldn't stay on the machine for 30 mins.. only 20 mins. my knees were killing me and my thighs were feeling so tight that it feels as if it's gonna burst.

and then i walk around cos my legs feel so numb and stiff, the veins in my head were pounding mad and i feel giddy. prolly wasted 5 mins idling and regaining my composure. SO GIDDY!

and the last 5 mins, carried pathetic loser weights. LOL. i was too shy to do what i wanted to do, cos got two buffy OLD men there doing weights also and they somehow keep glancing over, so irritating.so i left, the people there are probably laughing at me, the weakling. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

go and pump your damn muscles and leave me alone larh! okay, i'm just getting paranoid. hahaha.

alright, i hope my next visit i could increase resistance and speeed and stay longer. i'm gonna watch my TANG XIN FENG BAO ER (a.k.a Heart of Greed 2 Moonlight Resonance).

(((:

2009-10-14T10:01:00.003+08:00

i am alone in the office (as in my designated room). 2 of my colleagues went for a meeting, another one is having her day off and michelle is at the counter.

i'm suppose to print some docs, but apparently some guy is doing sth to one of my boss's cute pretty little laptop and he's using the printer cable and that means i can't do a single shit.

oh well, i'm in a pretty good mood today for no reason so i won't ramble much, had a mild pms last night though but i slept it off.

i'm craving for turtle soup, i hope i can have it tonight, but if cannot then never mind LORH. have it during the weekends then.

also, i need to make a decision fast on what birthday cake to buy for my dad's big bday. ohhhh the dilema. first choice is durian, second choice is chocolate cake with those biscuit base -yum yum-. third choice will be what-so-ever that i'll be craving today. nyahahahaha.

gotta get back to work, i'll find other things to do(:

-keep it coming please.. please please please.

2009-10-13T22:31:00.003+08:00

i have decided to unlock my blog and make it free for all (as in prolly only 3 humans) to read again.

so all these time when it was locked, alot of personal issues were going on. i shan't say what or how or when, what you get to read now is what it will be for the time to come. the past shall no longer be mentioned and hopefully not repeated.

yes there's alot of weight issues which i rant to myself when it was locked, how can there not be right? LOL. you know me, i desperately wanna lose weight but always lack the determination and discipline to do so. i don't know where all those has disappeared to, probably got drowned by my overflowing blubber that's filling me (:

honestly i dont think i can make it for halloween, after 3 months, i'm still the same. FAT.

but, i have somehow started doing weights again, not everyday though cos the result won't be as good. know why? you keep doing the same thing everyday, you'll see the results but as soon as the body adapt to it, thats it, there will be no more change. you can't get thinner, but just stay the same.

and i think i'm going to quit running. my knees are hurting, so i've decided to go back to doing the eliptical cross-trainer machine a.k.a the stepmaster. i'll sign up for my gym this thursday ((:

i hope within this 2.5 weeks i could at least get toner abit and lose prolly 2 kgs. i give up aiming so high cos its very unrealistic and bunch of bullshit, and i know its true. LOL.

i've to work on my thighs and tummy more. i didnt drink alcohol over the past weekend, a good start! i think the mixers and alcohols were the one that gave me the weight and my mad cravings for delicious food with no control.

okay that's it for diet, i don't wanna bore you. oh wait, who cares really? hahahahaha.

other stuffs then... my work is going good. i'm only staying cos i need the moolahs and the people are nice. and because of my work, I GET TO FUCKING PLAY TENNIS!!!! training is always so fun, every week is getting even more interesting and my right arm is starting to feel jelly.

i'm anticipating for my right arm to get fit!! nyahahaha! i've to work on my footwork so that my thighs are burning fat too. okay i just said i'ld stop talking abt that.

what about my love life, you'll ask? hmmmmm, it was rocky for the past 2 months or so. i was probably the horrible one, i still can't get over it whether i'm really that of an evil heart. still feeling bad, still feeling uncertain, still feeling many things.
but one thing i know for sure is that deep down inside, i really love my baby boy as simple as that.
other things can wait, till the time comes. maybe i should just start taking things easy like he does, makes me less frustrated and i don't have to care about so many things. yeah maybe i should just do that and start living my carefree life like i use to and work hard, earn moolahs, meet my babey edna ( haven't seen her for so long!) and go shopping like we always do.

i'll see 'bout that, so many things i have to change if i wanna go easy. i can do it, i have to do it. it's really tiring to care about every single thing, it's making me bonkers and also, i dont wanna have to start a quarrel just cos i'm so fussy. LOL.

next up, my school!

i think i have decided, but yet i think i have not. I CAN'T MAKE UP MY DAMN MIND. my dad has sort of given the green light, so does my mom. i just feel abit weird somewhere and i don't feel peace with the decision that i'm going to make. it's so sickening, i have to decide sooner or later 'else i've to wait another damn year again.

hospitality & events management OR international business? ahh crappy decision making sucks.

i guess that's enough for the opening entry for today. i'm so sleepy and i have to sleep NOW cos i'm not driving tmr. it's a Wednesday!

but before i sleep, i need to log in to my Cafe World, my brother's laptop is giving me probs.

i should stop boring you now, soooooo goodnightsy to that 3 or less humans reading and spam bots.!

2009-10-08T19:04:00.002+08:00

knowing that i will regret, i still did it. i fucking dont know why.

i'm like a pathetic desperate loser now. i can't keep my emotions to myself. why do i have to keep msging him to show him how much of a loser i am.

i can't help feeling so miserable. i don't even know whether it's the right decision or am i just doing it just for the sake of doing it. to show how mad i am. my stand is, it IS NOT MY FAULT.

i don't know why do you always manage to twist things to work in your favour. gift of the gab probably, and i'm just to dumb and not quick witted to rebuke whatever shit.

you always make me out to be wrong. everything i say somehow will be wrong. you say i'm selfish, the world revolves only around me and i never once think for you.

if i dont, why do i even bother buying satay bee hoon after work and surprise you with it.

if i dont, why do i even go to simpang to da pao for you hokkien mee after my SIP project at harbourfront.

if i dont, why do i even bother listening to you when you say i can't go clubbing or drinking or someone's birthday.

if i dont, why do i always let you do "that" whenever you want it.

i mean i think its useless to even bring all this up to you 'cos i know you have one million of shit waiting to just shoot me back. i can never win, thats it and that's how it is.

your ego is much too high to let you be a normal human being. you say why i cant be like girlfriends who console their boyfriends.

i say why cant you be sensitive enough to REALISE that i'm sick and my mood will definitely be bad. why you cant be like boyfriends who are gentle when their girlfriend is sick and not be so selfish to even ask for "THAT".

you are horny so what? i'm fucking sick.

i dont know, this is probably the best. i have to accepted no matter what. i'm just 21, if i dont end this when our r/s is only 2 years old, i don't see how i can survive if i end it when it's 6 years old and me being 27.

christine you just gotta hold on, think it through and just hold on.

2009-10-07T23:14:00.002+08:00

hai, so my boyfriend just throw his temper anyhow cos he can't get his satay bee hoon.

i bet he will crap up saying that it was my attitude to him. the way i talked to him like i wasn't happy. he just got a say for everything.

my mistake to go soft hearted just now to ask whether he wanted to go somewhere else to eat, i was scared he was hungry. but all i get was a stern refusal and of cos, his temper.

remind me not to go soft-hearted anymore kay?

i'm just so sick of his sickening attitude. not my fault also become my fault.

a hungry man is an angry man, indeed.

hai..

2009-09-25T17:35:00.002+08:00

what's a girlfriend worth after being THE "girlfriend".

we girlfriends worth more before officially being the guy's girlfriend.

we worth more during the chase, after that, we are much less already his girlfriend so there's no need to shower her with the massive attention; love; care; time.

so tell me what's the point of being a girlfriend when you love her more before she's yours.

"sorry", how many times have u said that? how many times did i ask you how many times you said sorry. you're sick of hearing, so am i sick of repeating.

if you ever meant it, this won't happen so many times.

of all weekdays, why must it be my friday? mon, tue, thurs, not any of these days you are free to meet them.

WHY MY FRIDAYS. stop fucking up my fridays. stop fucking up my heart.

STOP MAKING ME ACHE AND BE LIKE THIS.

i fuckin hate it. i'm so lazy to even vent my anger to show you, i'm so lazy but i'm so angry and fired up.

just one more time, don't blame me if i just spout everything out, i dont give a fuck.

i dont like being this girlfriend.

seriously stop fucking up my fridays.

2009-09-23T23:55:00.002+08:00

i think some people should stop acting like a bimbo or either, stop TRYING to be a true bimbo.

"like omg lar"

"like seriously"

"like finally"

hey, LIKE fuck off. i know it can't be helped since everyone is speaking that way.

i myself can't help it at times, but i don't do it everytime to LIKE.. everything and DUH..

for goodness sake, whatever is your interest doesn't mean you have to have to conform to that certain stereotypical behaviour. DUHHH.

using it to frequently just makes you look like one poseur, sorry but that's how i feel imo.

imo looks cool to use. LOL. nah.. it's just another soon-to-be bimbotic way of speaking.

nyeh nyeh nyeh, try harder cos you can't be a bimbo 'less you're brought up to be one. in fact, don't you know you are toooo smart to be one, oh come on, don't be shy.

goodnight weird world and look forward to another day of healthy eating!

2009-09-17T22:17:00.002+08:00

i'm still making my blog private, nyaha.

so 'nyways, work's fine, life's fine, my driving sucks!

2 mishaps this month. the first, my virgin experienced of having punctured tires. the 2nd, my virgin experience of hitting the back of my car to the multi-storey carpark railings.

it was so low compared to my house's multi-storey carpark. damn it!

and i almost bang a dog today. it almost dash out onto the road, thank goodness i was faster by that mere millisecond, so the dog just halted while my car drove past. i jam brake after that. so damn scary! i don't know whether i ran over it's paw or not though, stupid silly dog!

'nuff 'bout cars, i'm lucky my dad didn't fume so bad about the hit.

oh yes, i'm proud to say i have finally started tennis lessons!!!! so fun, and so shiok! it's getting more tiring now. i played till my arms turn jelly in the 2nd class.

i just wish my right arm will be less flabby and more toned. speaking of which, I DONT THINK I'M LOSING WEIGHT. work's making me fat. i eat and snack non stop. this sucks, and it makes me wanna try panbesy. i heard it does wonders, but i don't know where to get it.

i'm left with 1.5 months to halloween! not enough time already! i think i should just sign up for gym and do my cross trainer machine. running itself doesnt help much and it's worsening my knees.

yes i should prolly do that right now. ahhhh! i'm so sick of myself disgusting self and my lack of determination. it's just plain disgusting christine.

how can i be so useless. my thighs are so fat and ugly!

okay so here's my final desperate move:

panbesy + cross trainer + run + tennis

i'm gonna sleep and salivate to the idea of being a hottie pin-up!

2009-09-03T19:52:00.000+08:00

i really feel like giving up this thing with us.

you make me so tired and i think i make you even more tired. you see, you don't even remember its another one of our monthsary.

not that it doesnt matter so much after 2 years, its like you hardly care. you say you still wanna be together, i don't even see the passion in you.

i really feel like clubbing or go out partying and just get myself drunk and do something wild.

i should have gone with my dad who's upset to the 7th Month dinner.

i should have applied for overseas studies.

i should have partied till i am wasted to the limit.

i should have done things i like to do, want to do.

i shouldn't have fallen so deeply in love with you.

i shouldn't have been so attentive and keep your promises deep into my heart.

we shouldn't have been so serious. i shouldn't have think we will be together forever.

because... all because i'm beginning to wilt and i'm so sick of minding everything you do. maybe it's just a sign that i just don't have that in me anymore.

maybe we should just be apart.

maybe i'm just crazy.

2009-09-01T19:14:00.000+08:00

damn i'm thinking about so many many stuffs.

after talking with clarissa, i realised that maybe i should really start thinking about my future. is this really what i want?

so many things to think about.. i've thought about those stuffs before but never really give a serious thought about it. it was just a passing thought, but to think about it now... gosh, what do i really want?

everything is getting from bad to worse, my attitude, my character, my feelings and my love.

it's just going downhill like mad. i'm getting super sensitive, super fury and super rash at everything.

including this, but i don't regret a fucking shit.

2nd day of the me giving the cold shoulder, what am i feeling?

idk. maybe this could give me some time to think about it.

2009-08-31T22:56:00.000+08:00

i am not gonna give a freaking hoot this time round.

nadah yada no.

forget about me starting a conversation. i will not give in. it seems serious this time round, i got triggered damn bad.

so what if she's your sis (sorry no offence to her though), she's a damn female. i still feel weird.

why not you imagine me meeting some god bro of mine, will ya be fine with it. don't tell me yes, it's a fucking bullshit answer that will never come out from your fuckin mouth.

what's so hard to stay home and sleep early. why must go out so late, why ALWAYS must go out so late. fuckin hate guys that do that, detest guys who do that, especially when he's my bf. argh.

i'm a mad woman in a relationship. maybe if there isn't this relationship, i'll be spared from being a crazy girl.

you'll be spared from my "control". you want freedom, gooooooooo ahead dude. i'm not gonna sms you or care or ask about you.

what you said turn me off. let this shit carry on till it's limit, we'll see how it happens.

god i hate this place.

i guess i'm really mad till i'm craving for bad naughty stuff.

*come meet me at the hotel room (:

2009-08-31T02:15:00.002+08:00

that's it.

you fucking did it.

you fucking triggered my hell button.

you fucking gonna regret it. i can feel that i'm going crazy & i'm fucking willing to do anything to make you get what i fucking mean.

control you? hahah fuck off, you just give me more reasons to do what i like.

remember today, cos it's the beginning of the end.

go fuck off asshole. i'm never gonna be your same girlfriend anymore, fuck you.

2009-08-28T00:11:00.002+08:00

it's obvious i put on weight, so fucking obvious.

but i dont feel so depressed like the usual anymore, i'm feeling slightly better. maybe cos i'm starting to be consistent in my jogging?

went jogging today & my sister said she wanna tag along cos she haven't train for a long time. you see, she's the floorball captain of her Flamingo Team or sth and ever since a month ago, she has started studying for her A'Levels.. hence, she hardly went for training at all.

and despite the lack of training plus eating so much rice everytime she comes home from school, she's hardly putting on any weight.

and when she went jogging with me just now, her stamina's so damn good that i feel so ashame. still dare to tell me 3 weeks never train, so maybe will run slower. in the end i was the one who was slow lorh! she keep pacing me and i think she's the best pacer i've met so far. i think her pace and mine is almost the same 'cept, she can run faster than me.

and know what, i ran 10 mins faster today!!! all because that sissy of mine keep asking me to jog and not stop. and somehow, i managed to control my breathing better today and i walked lesser than compared to when i'm jogging alone.

she also make me sprint at the last 100m, usually i'll just run abit faster then my normal speed but today i really tried the real sprint. i could really see my thighs wobble. LOL.

i feel damn good now and i'm starting to have the urge to jog everyday, just like my colleague.

i'm trying to eat healthier though, trying damn hard. lunch time at work is the real killer, working is the real killer for fat arses like me!

'nyways, i'm gonna stop here for now cos i'm very the sleepy. so friggin sleepy, i need sleep.

i'll lose weight by october, i promise!

2009-08-25T19:09:00.000+08:00

i'm enjoying this privacy blogging and it's quite surprising really.

cos who blogs when there's no one to read it? me. i'm even answering my own questions. LOL.

somehow no one reading my post gives me the freedom to blog whatever fuck i want (:

but still, i'll be wary and cautious just in case some lame ass wants to hack into my lame account and expose whatever i posted that will shame me and my family. not that i got anything shameful to post about...hmmm do i?

quit the reasoning, back to life.

works okay, getting better each day, the people there are nice and i just hope there's more tasks to be done if not i'll be damn bored in the office.

and i realise that, i really like to have sth to do (no matter whether it's work or life) cos i hate being bored and so free on my hands/legs/ whatever. i like to be busy (though obviously not with school) and yet at the same time i love to slack.

busy @ work and slack outside work, it feeels so damn blooody good.

the more you are busy, the faster the time passes..IT'S FUCKIN' TRUE!

if only i can apply that to losing weight (busy with exercising that is), i'll be 7kg lighter. & one of my colleague is becoming a exercising freak. she can randomly tell me that she thought about running during meetings, she feel like running suddenly, she wants to run every single time. LOL, that's me 2 years ago.

now i'm just a lazy bum bum who does nothing but talk and no action (even if there is, it's a no biggie).

but good news is that i'm joining tennis with my colleague! now i'll have a fitness buddy who stays near me. sooner or later i know we'll end up meeting each other for runs. which is good! damn fugging good since it's nearing October and i need mass amounts of motivation to be my long awaited pin-up girl!

i feel so energise now, just 9 more mins and i'm good to go. but my right knee is hurting, a blue black is like forming at the left side of my right knee and i dont remember injuring it.

i'm so weak.

kays, that's it for now.. (:

- i agree i should prolly shut my foul mouth, it does nothing good but ruins everything.

2009-08-24T01:02:00.002+08:00

bullshit's over.

he promised not to do it again, never to do it again. i just hope it's true and it won't ever happen ever again cos it's just tooooo tiring to go through it and the stuffs that comes after, and all the arguments, the "fuck you" here and there, the harsh remarks to each other, the reasoning, it all just sucks.

i only love the part after the bullshit's over, where we'll start being so lovey dovey just like the first time we got together, it might even be more mushy. i like it when he gives me all his love and says super boyish things that makes me go "awwwwww".

his wall-e eyes, the pouty lips, his comforting arms, the soft firm cheek and that protective body.

so sexy, tooo sexy, imagining it just makes me go *toot*.

i can just go on describing him, but i shan't cos i need to sleep and wake up for work tmr. i know i'm being contradicting cos when i'm angry with him, dirty words just come out like i'm born just to spout those shits, like i'm gonna murder him, like i'm going berserk and be a danger to sane earthlings.

i should really stop. btw, no one's even reading my post cos i lock it out of lameness, bwahaha. it feels good to actually just type out what i'm feeling, reading it out loud in my mind and giggle to myself.

very psychotic but i like(:

nights world & I'M NEVER EVER GONNA DRIVE ON SUNDAYS. fucked carparks, geylang is crazy.

2009-08-22T01:20:00.005+08:00

just tell me what to do will you?

i'm seriously too lazy to even bother explaining why i'm angry. it's lame to even ask why i'm angry. not obvious enough meh? must i say it out word for word?

it's hard not to be sian anymore, just when i'm starting to be happy and less serious and forget about the previous issue (since it's like nth to you at all), this shit has to come.

it just has to come. the fucking bullshits just has to fucking come and rip all my emotions out.

tell me this and that and all sugary sweet things and explainations, next thing i get is totally WTF.

and when i wanna justify myself, all i get is screwed up remarks which totally ends all possible reasonable talks with you.

and when the next day comes, suddenly whatever happened is non-existent at all. like it was all a dream or worse, never happened before. this makes me wonder if there's anything you ever remembered, are there even memories of us during special occasions that you remember?

so.. just tell me what to do will you? stop tugging, pulling, playing, testing with my feelings, my sincerity and my love...

just 2 years.. does it mean that it can all be like this from now on? how many times already, ask yourself how many times you wanna bluff me.

*it's getting too difficult to tell you how i feel because all i ever will get is snide remarks. i'm getting fuckin' tired as hell.

.love drunk.

.you are eating my heart out.

2009-08-20T22:42:00.001+08:00

aiyerh, MISS UNIVERSE IS OUT TO MOCK ME.

the ladies are a total whooooosh.

HOT HOT HOT!

2009-08-20T21:46:00.000+08:00

i'm aaaa bad girl today(:

i never went jogging. i didn't know today was the first day of the hungry ghost festival, i thought it started quite long ago.

so since it's the first day, everyone's burning and offering incense so everywhere's smokey and ashy and so i decided not to run.. plus i freak out easily, so ya.

back up plan was to gym, but from 7pm till 9pm when i keep peeking out of my window to see the gym opposite, it looks super full. it seems that every station is occupied including my favourite one.

so there goes exercising day. i'll pay it back tmr, somehow. i already ate less rice and alot of fish and egg plant today. plus i drank that shitting tea 'cos i got probs excreting again today.

'nywayyyss i got that same painful, weird feeling in the toilet again. it's fuckin' irritating 'cos i keep going toilet to pee (more or less) every 30 mins. and the pee is as usual, pathetic drips.

is either my bladder got prob, i got some cervical crap, my digestive system's upside down or whatever shit stuff there is. maybe i shld just look on the bright side, i might get to lose weight ((:

ponderin' whether to visit the docs, but it's like a no biggie. but i'm still worried. i'm always worried about the wrong things, i know. but fuck, this is just me.

okays, quit the blabbering.. gonna bejeweled till my eyes pop.

counter duty tmr, i hope i can wake up early like the past 3 days.

*oreo banana snow blend is another sexful stuff. very very.. imagine it with auntie anne's. OHHHH LALA!

2009-08-18T21:10:00.000+08:00

auntie anne's pretzel is the sex. okay not really, no.

let's try this again..

auntie anne's pretzel gives you an orgasm when you eat it, yes this it(:

esp parmesan cheeeeese or sour cream & onion. you can get W*T, LOL. & when you eat it alone while queueing for the bus, you feel damn cool, idk why so don't ask me why (:

i've got constipation, more like indigestion. i haven't pooped for a week, and i went to the toiiilett like 5 times this morning in the office & i gotta keep asking hasnah to cover for me at reception so many times.

i keep getting the urge to excrete the damn faeces out of my system, but whenever i get to the toilet, everything just ISN'T COMING OUT. only silent farts (which stinks very bad, silent is the BOMB!), and pathetic drips of pee which seems to be incomplete too.

i'm having a damn bloated stomach now. just imagine it adding on to my already-so-big tummy, fucking disgusting fatty bom bom is in da housseea..

i went to buy plum juice (took hasnah's advise) hoping that i could just poop a little, but nooooo. i drank a whole bottle, till now i'm still only having farts.

i wanted to go to the docs, but i scared they stuff that white bullet look alike thingy in my ass to trigger me to shit (i always get that when i was young), it's not cool, doesn't even make it better when i'm already 21. toooo porno.

so the best choice is to drink that shitting tea that i used to drink when i wanted to diet. i just hope it won't be too severe till i'm gonna get bad diarrhoas or tummy aches in the bus on the way to school or when i'm in the office. I DONT WANNA SHIT IN MY PANTIES or BOMB THE 2 CUBICLE TOILET.

worse comes to worse, i'll visit the docs.. tell him why i got bad tummy aches (because i got constipation first) and ask him for proper medications and proper LAXATIVES.

i love laxatives, bwahahahaha.. all-time bestfriend.

okays then, i gotta ciao to make that tea.

2009-08-15T23:55:00.003+08:00

today's verdict of the picnic:
NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT, HAVE TO LOSE WEIGHT, MUST LOSE WEIGHT.

that 7kg is just so evident on my body.
gnikcuf fucking
E-V-I-D-E-N-T!

other than that, i had so much fun... eating, laughing, crapping, kite-ing & nua-ing (:

& laughing at the photos,
at jo, hwee, cher, san making the butterfly kite to fly (which seems to be impossible)
at the made-up captions of funny photos of JO (mostly)
at the murderer game which i seriously think that we should have more people!
at sandra who is always super clumsy; slamming her palm into the plate of thai chilli sauce.

& playing UNO with the girls,
& thank poh hong who starts talking abt our childish emails,
also making fun of jo as always,
hearing (NOT LISTENING) hwee being so engrossed in telling the story
of her favourite taiwan series to sandra (who i think didn't care at all and just nod her head)
& she's asking me to watch it too.. i might though.

& criticizing my own photos as well,
crying at every fat that's popping out,
basically deleting alot of PHOTOS which has me in it.

& thankful for my boyfriend for following me to this picnic,
for driving the big odyssey for me,
for being a pro at parallel parking at ECP (that impossible place, very!),
for being such a lovely boy to capture nice photos of the girls' attempt to fly
the impossible $8 bucks butterfly kite (cheryl's pretty kite, LOL),
for not being shy to be the only boy there till the last 30 mins where minghui came,
& for being sucha sweetie most of the time today (:
& sorry that i keep saying you take ugly photos of me
(you don't take ugly photos, i made the photo ugly)
& NOT sorry for sabo-ing me at UNO, bleh.

& also very grateful that this picnic was planned,
where we get to catch up and joke like old times,
where jo is always the victim. LOL.

& lastly it motivates me to lose weight even more! whahahahahaha.

i love everyone of you there today and like cher said,
friends are forever.

my boyfriend is forever too, love you baby boy.

2009-08-15T02:15:00.003+08:00

oh yes, now that my blogger's back to normal, i have got nothing much to update. how nice hmm?

me growing rounder everyday, bibs keep saying my face very swollen (he didn't mean it to be the bad way, but i just take it as the bad way!) HATE YOU, but still love you more (:

i'm already starting to snack in the office and i'm so in love with the jewel biscuits. i think most people have eaten it when they are young, it's like a childhood snack and kids love it. ADULTS (like me) love it too! i prefer to buy it from only those shops that sells biscuits in those old biscuit tin box. you know what i mean.. those old uncle/aunty whose shop is filled with biscuit tins selling biscuits by weight.

LOOK HOW PRETTY THEY ARE. bibs & me kept munching on it while watching Forest Gump. it's suppose to be my office snack, now it's gone.. almost 250g of it..in a jiffy. LOL, need to buy more! eh btw, are these fattening? if yes, i need to cut down on it.. nyaha.

photo credits to my beloved beloved beloved bf who just finished his beginner photography class (:
proud of you bii.

his photos not bad, after he edits them, lagi best(:
dont give up baby boy, there's more than one thing available for you to persue.

time for bed again, picnic tmr with the giirrrlliiees! still dont know what to bring.
i wanna fly kite and ride bicycle with bf, it'll be our first after so long(:

2009-08-13T23:57:00.000+08:00

it's been long.. and my damn blogger account is still like this (in the html mode where there's no editing icons!).

my new job's okay, hitting on well with the staffs; they have been very nice.. so far.

i'm in serious dire need to get new clothes for work.. new smart casual/formal clothes. i've been wearing black sets everyday, cos the only smart casual clothes i have are all in BLACK. even my brother notice it everytime i come home from work. i should get 2 pencil skirts too but i got no top to match!

i went to G2000, i was totally hopeless. & my new colleague also laughed at my final verdict, i have a problem in wearing structured formal button-up blouse. BUT I LOVE THE COLOURS OF THE BLOUSES ON SALE!!!! hot pink.. hot orange.. pale blue.. purple. but i can't wear them, i'm so fat all over and too full "there". FUCKS.

and since starting my new job, i can't keep my promise of a regular routine of jogging and working out. i'm hoping to incorporate exercising into my this new job and i don't think that's impossible cos i'm working in my own polytechnic and there's a big reservoir for me to run and a swimming pool for me to swim and also, a staff gym for me to go (hopefully i'm allowed access).

but i think i'll just stick to the natural reservoir, i don't like people seeing me swim in my costume or STAFFS in the gym staring at you using the machines, its fucking awkward. the gyms i've been to, hardly have at least 10 people in the same room so you can see i'm comfortable in small groups only cos there's no pressuring stares (even though it's just a harmful glimpse).

its a good time to join a strictly-woman-only gym now! but heard it's expensive but it'll be cool wouldn't it? my own personal hot woman trainer, LOL. and i get more motivation working around hot ladies, they'll be my motivation (:

goodness.. no matter what, BY OCTOBER! my pin-up dream for a day((:

picnic with the girls this saturday, 'm not sure whether it's still on.

need to sleep now, 'm on counter duty tmr! ZZZZZzzzzz, and i'm sure as heavens super dozey. nights(:

2009-08-10T23:42:00.000+08:00

went to ion on friday with edna babey... THAT PLACE SUCKS BAD.

on the outside it looks fabulous, very wow-ing and big.. inside, it's one hella freakin' CMI maze. i thought the place would be a big open area like a normal shopping centre but in the end, it keeps twirling around in circles and we dont even know where we are going.

and it doesnt help that some shops have 2 levels to their store, it made me think that i've been there and i'm walking in circles when previously the one i walked past was the level above. plus, i know we passed by the ATM machine a few times but when i wanted to look for it, we can't find it. LOL, fffffffffff.

fucking shit place. the stores arent amazing at all and everyone's going crazy at the shoe shop called Rubi. i was in aussie when i bought 2 pairs from that shop, i think there's cheaper than Singapore. now everyone's gonna have same shoes, btw the shoe quality is not that bad. the only bad thing is that it's too flat and it's like you can really feel the ground. LOL.

i thought i could buy clothes from ion but i ended up buying only make-ups from Sephora. and yes, i only like that level cos it's so big and open, unlike the other levels. and the japanese ramen we ate from one of the restaurants IS SALTY LIKE MAD. we only love the egg, the soup sucks.

i wanna try the Takopachi and the ice-cream, ooooooooo so tempting. okay the next time i'm there, i will go straight to the small eateries, nyahahahahha.

saturday wanted to watch "UP" but bibs and me woke up too late and the cinemas were full, so ended up prawning at farmway with en & debra. this time i managed to catch quite a lot.. must be the full moon (LOL, inside joke).

sunday was drinking session (did not K-O at all((((:), watched NDP (i think it's boring), went to eat supper and mahjong till 4am.

monday woke up at 1pm, prepped up to head over to Century Square to catch our long awaited movie "UP". my bf is a mixture of the old man + the asian boy, nyahahahahaha. the show's cute and funny, not really that amazing but it's just super cute.

saw Jack Neo waiting outside the cinema too, think he's gonna watch his own show "Where got ghost?".

went back to bibs, napped and home sweet home.

WORK TMR, boring! nights(:

-blogger is still cranky, maybe only mine. HOW TO FIX??!?!?

2009-08-06T19:27:00.000+08:00

blogger is mad. the editing icons are suddenly non-existent, AGAIN.

and the world is turning upside down, inside out, outside in... NNNNYYYYYEEEEAAHZ.

i'm contemplating whether to go run or not, it looks very hazy today & i dont wanna breathe
in bad air that can hinder me from jogging happily. i've been a good girl in running more than walking (:
i'm in the midst of training my mind to have more control and my determination (in forcing my ass off the bed & stamina) is sorta improving each with each session. i managed to jog a longer distance non-stop now!!!! i wanna go back to running one whole round w/o having to stop and then slowly run 1.5 rounds and then 2 rounds like last time. I WANNA BE CURVY FIT & TONE. yes curvy (:

i think i'm gonna join back my gym membership, i miss the cross trainer, that machine itself enhances + tightens my thighs & ass, and i haven't been doing that for damn long, no wonder the saggy skin.

just some miscellaneous stuff, my heart was in my throat when i watched the news about ex-President Clinton bringing back the 2 journalists from North Korea. That picturesque moment of Euna Lee hugging her cutie daughter made me almost sob. so touching and very heartwarming to see them being embraced by their love ones.

glad they are back home safely.

okay i'm so sleepy i'm gonna nap. RUN OR NOT? if i can wake up before 9pm (i don't think so) then i run, if not, tmr run at bibi's place (: which i also think it won't be possible. BLAHHHHSSS.

i need to run at least 3 times a week, CONSISTENTLY! damn it..

1

2009-08-06T00:26:00.002+08:00

watched G.I JOE... too perfect, too predictable, but not bad. HOT GIRLS WITH HOT BOOBIES AND BOOTIES AND BODIES, i feel shitty againnss.

my first day on the new job, i can foresee i won't like it, maybe i'm just thinking too much but still..... blah. i can't use the internet 'cos my desk is fucking OPEN to everyone. SUCKS. will be working there for a year, hopefully.. if i dont decide to quit sudddenly (:

i merely rested for 2 days and i gotta start working again, life sucks.. i should have requested to start next week.

baby boy was a charming;loving;suuuupppppperrr sweet;sexaye;gentleman;romantic boyfriend on tuesday afternoon. he shocked me and melted my heart, just the way he did when we first got together. THAT'S MY CLINTON HU, THE BOY I FELL IN LOVE WITH, THE BOY I WANNA BE WITH FOREVER.

okay i gotta go, my brother is shoo-iing me off the com. i requested for 10 mins of use of his laptop, but it's like only 6 mins perhaps? damn it, i wannna get my own laptop man.

after earning moolahs that is!!!

ciaos!

& BIBI BOY, YOU MAKE MY HEART GO WHOOOOOSSSSSH! loveyouu(:

2009-08-04T15:44:00.000+08:00

i shan't blog till blogger's editing icons all appear.

my posting page looks damn bare and i can't make my words larger because the icon is simply not there.

irritating.. so in the meantime, you can just squint your eyes to read this lame post.

whahahahahahahahahahahaha!

2009-08-03T00:43:00.002+08:00

Happy 25th Monthsary My One & Only Mr C.H.W.Y:

love you with all my heart, my strength and all that i can give.
our 2nd year was kinda rough, i've been a very bad girlfriend (though sometimes it's really your fault!!) but i still love you no matter what i've said in the past.

you still suck big time though! hehehehehehehe.

& you know i can only love you and no other....

...pounds of hugs and kisses for you baby boy (:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'nyways, i just finished watching Miss USA 2009 and i love their photo shoot the most. know why?

it's super pin-up style, vintage and filled with pure elegance and classic, very yummmmy (:
next time i want my wedding photos to be like that too.

needless to say, all the contestants are damn pretty. long legs, even if their legs are big it's very toned, nice slender firm toned arms, big white teeth, nice toned stomach with a hint of abs showing, big luscious hair, sexy personality and nice smiles.

i spot no bimbos for the top 5. no bimbos at all because they are all so eloquent. so envious of them okay. i also want, i everything also want larh actually. LOL.

i need to work harder for my body. gonna make sure the D.D.D will be gone by october and no more big flabby arms. i'm jobless now so gotta make use of the time to perspire & tighten my fat arse.

i've got a notebook to record whatever i've done.

so say HELLO TO AWESOME AUGUST! i have to be damn discipline about my diet, it's so horrible and i can't stop eating good food.

alrighty thensss, back to bejewelled(:

2009-08-01T12:21:00.000+08:00

the first time i saw this, i was too stunned, too amazed to even let out a giggle.
it was that funny till i'm tooooooo stoned.
my heart was already pumping damn hard to the beat of my mental laughers.
GOOOOOOOOODNESSSSS!

2009-07-30T10:58:00.002+08:00

Day 18, Week Two:

Karoake on monday left me eith a sore throat. i don't see how i manage to get THAT STUPID SORE THROAT when i sang so little songs. must be the last one hour where me, sha & grace crazily sang the old pop songs and scream our hearts out.

guess what song we sang during the last hour. LOL... "Calcuta Taxi", "Boom Boom Boom", "Barbie Girl", "Pretty Boy" and "This I Promise You". we were damn high dont know for what. but it was damn fun larh, we were like singing at the top of our voices and doing some mini mambo moves (sha was the craziest). nyahaha, after that.. my voice worsen and i suddenly own a damn husky sexy voice(:

next day, i didnt go to work cos my throat hurts & it was damn "itchy". but hell yeah it was damn fuckin fun.

ytd (wed) i was damn sian the whole day.. i couldnt wait to get off work to go ICE SKATING!!!! san, hwee, cher, hongy & me went to Kallang Leisure to ice skate for 2 hours.

we had our own race with cher being the most funniest commentator speaking in malay & philippino accent. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA. i fell on my butt twice and slide, cher fell sideways once and slide and hongy fell once on her butt too. san and hwee didn't fall and SANDRA IS A PRO SKATER (cos she's a certified roller skate instructor..ZZzzz). she ice skate like roller blade larh, still can slide here slide there and scrap ice. she mad one.

and she chiong the most. after felling on my butt twice i slack off abit, cos it was damn sore. ice skating makes me perspire okay, even though it was cold, we ended up perspiring like mad.

reached home around 11.45 i think. damn sleepyy....

i have to go home and run today 'cos for the past one week i've been eating too much BBQ and steamboat and ytd i had swensens (our boss treated all the temp staff).

and i am motivated more than ever to lose weight by October. BECAUSE IF I DON'T, I ALREADY PROMISED MY K.O.D.D.D THAT HE CAN DO WHATEVER HE WANT LIKE PLAYING SF WHOLE DAY, REARING TURTLES AND ANYTHING ELSE HE WANNA DO.

i'm sucha shitbag right. now i'm freaking out after being so confident and gutsy to say the above yesterday.. i scared i cannot. LOL.

anyways, i will work hard to attain that Godly pin-up girl body for Halloween. i'll avoid the sun and be damn fair and then i'll dye my hair jet black or chocolate brown or copper and have red hot lips.

thinking about it, i think i'll look like a tranny.. GROSSS. maybe i'll give the red hot lips a pass. LOL.

i'm left with er.... 2 months? damn... goodness i must be super discipline from August onwards and since i'm damn fuckin' free after my contract ends, i willl chiooooonng all the way. i think i need to incorporate swimming inside to get nice legs, but i dont wanna wear my swimming costume, so very the obiang.

another reason for me to work hard is to look good for bibi & my trip to Phukettttt! we were suppose to go there for our 2nd year but it's been dragginnnnnnn onnnnnnnnnnn for ages. okay nvm, have nice body first then show off next time. LOL.

wish me good luck, i'll be 7kg lighter when you see me by end of September, i PROMISE!

now that i'm done posting, i don't know what else to do. I AM DAMN BORED, and since tmr is my last day of work, i'm freakin lazy to do anything.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZzzZZzzzz.

till tonight, love love :)

*megan fox on 8Days is damn boobilicious and sexaaayyeeee.

2009-07-27T16:44:00.002+08:00

FRIDAY...

work and then went home for a nap. fetched hwee from sengkang to go ehub to meet san and jasmine for K-Box but in the end we all went back to sengkang for prawning at Punggol. LOL.. i was driving back & forth.

guo rong works at the Punggol Marina prawning and he caught most of the loot. I CAUGHT NOTHING, NOTHING AT ALL OKAY...sandra say i was damn lousy. LOL. the pond there really like no prawn leh. and that guo rong, don't know whether his fingers got some special touch or sth.. cos he seems to be able to catch so many.

hwee caught 1.. san caught 3 or 4. i caught non. crap, that's super bullshit lorh. NEXT TIME WE GO BISHAN, i make sure i catch alot for you all. LOL.

bibi decided to come over and see me (dont know is spot check or really wanna see me, LOL!) after his SF4 tournament, it was super last minute and he gave me alot of miss calls and even got pissed at me for not answering. how i know he going to come wot, so i just left my purse and not check my phone lorh.
but he very cute lurrh, i made fun of him regarding what he sms-ed me about not answering my phone and he just sulk saying "i want to keep turtle, herh." FFFFFFFFFFFWWWWUUUUUUAAAAHHH, damn cute. but of cos i ask him to shut up and NO keeping of turtles. LOL.

spend the night at his place, again another last minute thing 'cos he was gonna leave in the morning for Bangkok. misssing my K.O.D.D.D very much. i think his D.D.D is getting more humongous eating thai food. I ALSO WANT THAI FOOD!!

SATURDAY...

reached home at 11am. i slept till 10 at bibi's place, but he already left at 8am.

went home to prepare the satay for my mum's & sis's bday bbq. though it's a celebration for my mum, she's doing all the food preparation for the bbq. i know right.. like what the hell is the birthday girl doing when it's her bday.

but what to do.. HER FOOD IS THE BEST. even the home made satay was damn good, i only did the skewing. it's kinda tedious and i have to dig my hands into the mixture of pork cubes and marination. it left my hand smelling damn yummy.. but after awhile it gets stinky and smelt more like durian.

the bbq was successful, all the food damn nice!!!. the cakes were too soft cos we left it unfrozen for quite long but still taste damn fuckin good.

and i realise my dad loves to speed. we borrowed my cousins Mini Cooper (manual) to collect the cake and he speeeeeeeeeeeed all the way. he still say wanna exchange car for a few days to play and speed around. HE CRAZY, DAMN CRAZY. on the way back still ask me to "hold tight ah", then i was like "huh why, you wanna speed faster ah, oh okok". SO SCARY. he damn scary and he damn zai. LOL, my father is a chiongster. nyahahahaha.

SUNDAY

woke up late, had lunch with my sissy and then off we went to library.

as silly as it may sound, i have a huge "craving" to read books and i really wanted to visit my all-time favourite NLB. so i ended up borrowing 4 books and my sis also borrowed 4 books. ME DAMN THE HAPPY, I GOT BOOKS TO READ ALREADY. accompanied my sis to buy ear rings from bugis and then home sweet home.

spend the rest of the day watching "Powerful Opponents" (korean drama) and then talked to my bibi boy online and went to sleep at 2.30am...

MONDAY.. today..

felt damn sleepy the whole day cos i slept at 2.30am..

now i'm waiting for the time to reach 6pm to knock off and off we go for KARAOKE. all the temp staff that is..

quite exciting, can't wait to hear all the singing and all the laughing. LOL, my 2nd time to karoake. nyahahaha.

and H.L changed my seating again. now i'm not with sha anymore... i'm back to where i first sat on the first day.

nvm, just 4 more days and i end my contract!!!!!! will miss the dudeess and the babess here though..

okay 'nuff of yakking & blabbering, i've been slacking for the past 1 hour.

TAHH~~~

*BIBI POOOT COMING BACK TMR!!! can't wait to give you a hug bib bib (:

-gross, disgusting, don't be someone that you are not, don't talk like someone you are not. TOTALLY DIFFERENT PERSONAS IN TWO DIFFERENT WORLD. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..

I LOVE BOOBSS...oops i meant... BOOKSSS.

boobs too actually (:

2009-07-24T19:43:00.003+08:00

can i really really ask sth..

WHY HAS MY FRIDAY MORNINGS BEEN SO BAD?

just last week i was complaining about how irritating the trains were. this morning worse, i mistook 55 as 25 and board the bus and it went all the way to bishan mrt which was 10 mins longer than the trip to AMK mrt. and i was already running late....

and then SOME kan ni na-s must purposely piss me off even more. this 2 china students fucking dont know how to say excuse me and just barge through me to exit the train. IMPOLITE FREAKS, not like it's so surprising, just fuckin typical of them to do that. their impression on people is already down to the lowest point in hell but yet they still wanna make it worse.

shave your armpits and stop doing those "maggie mee" hair style larh, don't spoil the nice cute image of a poodle.

gross fucks. okay, some china nationals are not that all bad, it's just those irritating ones with the fuckface, fuck hair, fuck smell and whatever fuck they have that's very fuckified.. ERRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHH!

okay now i'm stuck at home with no plans no nth. why whenever i damn free, people not free. ZzzzZZZzzzzz.....

melvin just gotta book out tmr lurh! idiot..

oh yes, i think i've decided on an activity to persue.

TAKE LANGUAGE CLASSES!!! i thought of taking French since it's so fun and interesting and then take Korean... nyahahahahaha. anyways i saw this korean reality show where there are around 15 hot female caucasians from different countries who speaks damn fluent korean! heard they studied there or sth..

so damn cool and so damn fluent, me want it too! but ah i checked out the classes for French, quite expensive leh. but then again ah, i seriously don't fuckin' mind (:

okays, now i feel like chionging korean series..

tahhhhhhh~~

*hate people acting all-so-philosophical with all the banging english words and trying to act all-so-confusing like they are the all-so-mighty that no normal humans can understand. okay maybe i'm wrong, and that's how some people ah.

2009-07-22T22:47:00.003+08:00

DAY 10, WEEK ONE PART II:

failed in attempting to go jogging with K.O.D.D.D.

the suan pan zi was more powerful than my will power to go run. FOOOOOOD is evil. i'm gaining weight like crazy.

watched "The Island" 'cos he never watch before and then home sweet home.

.......................................

on an unrelated note:

i think i really need to find my friends back and hang out with them.

i realise besides work, computer and him, i have really got nothing else to do which is really..

fucked up and makes my life very very boring and "no life".

so from now on, i have to meet up my friends more often so that they cant complain

that i neglect them and at the same time, i will be more than happy to be having fun.

i dont mind mahjong sessions, i love drinking sessions the most & I ALSO LOVE TO TALK RUBBISH & SLACK AT "LAST MINUTE" DECIDED PLACES(:

actually ah, i don't mind doing any activity as long as it's not illegal.

i should actually find a interest and develop it like my bf (he's basically into EVERYTHING).

which is actually the sole reason of me trying to do this.

because whenever he go and do that particular hobby, i'll be left rotting at home doing nothing & i fucking don't like it 'cos i can't enjoy doing nothing. NO ONE GETS A KICK OF DOING NOTHING UNLESS YOU'RE PAID FOR IT. -grinnsss-

eh i should change my lifestyle and be more spontaneous, i'm only 21 and i should be enjoying life and not sulking my life away (it's adding wrinkles to my head too damnit).

i should do anything that i like... which is basically slacking, drinking, reading gossip site?

bleahs, life sucks.

i need to think think think about this. i think i'm gonna go interest hunting.. it'll be fun!!

means i'll be trying out everything from A-Z till i find sth i like.

street fighter, arcade will totally be out.

i'll ask clare to teach me WOW, nyahahaha, already did.

okay now what.. go to all the CC's, forums and find out whatever hobbies there are in SG.

((((:

i feel damn proud of myself and SHUSSSH, i don't need your bloody comments.

*some people are just trying to hard*

*i don't like being cheated, who does, do you?*

*it's unfair*

*it's better not to know what's going on & just leave it as it is*

*i should stop being so serious and just have fun*

*whatever will be, will be.. but i'm losing it, the future's just to bleak*

I HAVE DECIDED THAT I WILL LIVE AS A 21 YR OLD, HAVE FUN LIKE A 21 YR OLD

& not care whatever i saw, heard & felt ytd, today or in the future.

i'm born to live, that's how it is, that's how it will be.

christine tan will start living and stop rotting her life away for the useless (:

2009-07-22T09:48:00.002+08:00

DAY 10, WEEK ONE Part I:

what a chilly weather, wish i could sleep in more and skip work.

but good news!!! H.L is off for a course for wed and thurs which meansssss, sha & me can pretty much slack our asses off.

so anywaysssss, between Day 4 to Day 9.. i completely DID NOT exercise at all. worse still, I DRANK ALOT.... of BEEEER! and add alot of BBQ food!!! so dead, so loser, so fucked-up. LOL. can't help it, my weekend was kinda screwed up but sheesh, all's good and well now (:

ooooyess, gotta thank claresta & rearn for saturday's company till the wee hours, and their friends for the hospitality.

sunday was another bbq with MEGA KING OF DUDU's street fighter friends, there were a total of 6 of us only larh. bwahahaha, a small group. but i'm still not a hardcore fan of that evil weevil devil game (HERH!).

i took off on monday cos i wanna spend time with my K.O.D.D.D, watched Red Cliff 1 & 2 (soooo nice) and drank more beer and at night, a last minute decision to go Marina Barrage 'cos my K.O.D.D.D wanted to do some photography there. i gotta say at night, the place is damn the romantic. so few people that you can take it as if you are alone there, and you can OWN THE WATER PLAYGROUND. too bad i was wearing jeans, nyak.

and as per the DUDU, it is another virgin experience together to Marina Barrage. then lastly, mee rebus at the Railway Station.. damn high(:

tuesday wass indian rojak (yes another sinful delicacy) and also we watched Ghosts of Girlfriend's Past. meaningful show, guys who like to flirt/are playboys you must watch.

okays.. back to work, which is reading more gossip sites(:

2009-07-18T16:16:00.002+08:00

i'm stuck at home feeling damn sian. it's a saturday, i'm suppose to be out not home and worse, my make up is already on since early noon.

i don't wanna waste it just like that.

i realised i don't really have that much people to call out. LOL. i'm very pathetic.

anyways i'll make sure by 8pm i'll fucking get out of the house, prolly crash some unknown chalet. LOL.. kidding.

i know what i'm gonna do by then. have to go prep up for a 2nd time again.

sucha spoiler for a saturday, really sucha spoiler. just have to ruin it, fuck.

meanwhile, any free souls? loner for tonight then.

2009-07-17T08:50:00.003+08:00

a damn good morning.

WHAT THE FUCK IN HELL IS WRONG WITH THE TRAINS TODAY?!

my north-south (red) bound train just suddenly speeed and jerk to a stop. not only that..

the east-west (green) bound train also did the same thing, and worse, this time i got no bar to hold on to. so i look like an idiot leaning towards the side like i'm gonna do a side 45 degree michael jackson stunt.

damn i look like an idiot.

and then now, my office light is also spoilt. it's flickering like mad and i feel like i'm in a haunted old office.

and then also, the BLS system seem to have run into some problems last night which apparently deleted the memory of whatever's done ytd. so i have to RE PROCESSED everything that i've done yesterday and then retype whatever i've edited ytd also.

wtf is wrong with FRIDAY. it's suppose to be TGIF.

lunch time better be good.

2009-07-17T00:17:00.002+08:00

the heartburns just keep getting stronger and stronger... ...

am i really that irritating and hopeless?

it's eating whatever strength or energy or passion i have... left.

goodnight, i hope the bed bugs bite (me tonight).

2009-07-16T23:03:00.005+08:00

DAY 4, Week ZERROOOO:

okay i didn't do anything on day 3 'cept for eating and eating and meeting bibi.

i managed to run more today 'cos i saw one very fit girl running pass me and i decided to follow the way she's jogging. i did, it's less tiring, i can run further but when i stop, my calve muscles were soooo strained, tensed and cramped up. LOL, but i feel shiok. know what? i feel like finding that girl and ask her to train me up, her arm muscles are damn nice but her leg muscles are so manly (maybe i should stop running her style, i don't want man calves. LOL)

and there was a motor/car/taxi accident when i was running back home. i saw the injured uncle with his head and arm being bandaged by the medic. also, soooo many K.P.Os standing at the side of the road, opposite the road and also in the car watching the aftermath. 90% of the time, road jams are caused by K.P.O drivers!

work today was suppppperrrr boring. H.L's b'day today so she took half day.. and then that's when me and sha slacked the next 4 hours doing nth, drinking milo/wheatbix ( i gave her!), eating my leftover lunch sandwich, reading gossip sites about anyone & everyone and going toilet every now and then.

we were dying of boredom... i thought of taking off tmr, but i think better not 'else sha later lonely. bwahahahaha.

oh yes, about furthering my studies. i think i'm gonna take Hospitality and Tourism in SIM by some Swiss school. i get to go to Switzerland in my 2nd semester for attachment!!

but but but but but, i'm still debating on whether to do marketing or int'l business too.

these 3 choices i need to decide by Mid August. shiiiaattee, i need to hurry meet up my cuzzie so that she can help me.

okays, needa bejeweled and then go sleeep.

-i feel shiok, but not that shiok. sighs... what's gonna happen?

2009-07-14T22:00:00.002+08:00

Day 2, Week ZEROOOOO:

i set my alarm at 8pm and this time... I WOKE UP AND FORCE MY FAT ARSE TO JOG. but i drag myself out of bed only at 8.20pm. but who cares right.. at least i went to jog. BWAHAHAHAHA.

okay it was mostly brisk walking then jogging. the 6kg i put on has certainly drown my energy and stamina to even jog. i feel like a very fat newbie once again, just like 2.5 years ago.

i'll just take it slow then. my knees are feeling very very cranky and stiff and old. LOL. more milk & glucosamine!

i have to work on my diet more... bleahs. need to find one that can cater to my needs and not make me binge.

so 'nyways, me and sha have been really slacking our butts off in the office. she told me her motivation and morale to work is ZERO. LOL. so what have we been doing is looking for jobs, reading news online, gossip webpages and only spend a very minute pecentage of the time doing our work. i still got the tendency to chiong though, but sha totally on her way to don't-know-what-land. LOL. her own mind is having some wars. she's mad (:

in 2 weeks time, most of us will be leaving. i feel damn bad and still kinda ponderin' whether to extend or not. but i think it's too late, ahhhhh, find a better paying job larh! need to stop thinking 'bout it.

btw, ANYONE WANNA WATCH HARRY POTTER WITH ME?! that is if my brother also not watching with me larh. my sis got her own group of friends, my bf don't wanna watch so yeah. watch alone, very tempting but very idiotic.

that's all, nights kadonkdonks.

act-cool oblivious geeks,
overly mushy disgusting poly student,
a secondary school kid who doze off till his head's gonna knock the front seat,
and me,
the poly grad/temp staff/aimless 21 yr old/irritated gf,
all in a double-decker bus 74.

-i know i damn naggy, damn irritating, damn stubborn and damn sarcastic that's why i still don't get why is it still me? why not someone else? all i can see is how much patience you're losing, how easily irritated i've become.

2009-07-13T23:13:00.002+08:00

Day 1, Week ZEROOO:

I FAILED.... to wake up at 8pm to go jogging. fwwuuaaackk. i am so sleepy & so tired. but this whole day during work, i was so motivated & anticipating to go home and run, then how come like that lehhh?!

i'm sucha a bum bum, yeah even my ass is getting bigger. shitt.

okay there's always a "keep trying". damn motivated, damn energised... by tmr (:

i won't let today put me down..naahh..starting is always the hardest, and i know that damn well.

WILL-POWERRRRRR! should i re-new my gym membership 'cos i know somehow it'll end up useless nyaha!

healthy lunch today, happy like an idiot!

2009-07-12T02:50:00.002+08:00

another week pass by just like that.. so damn fast.

saturday lovin' with bibi the poot poot & of course vodka + beer (this is mainly why me not losing weight at all, nyahahahahahahahahaha!) & Gokusen marathon.

bedok 85 (another reason) & then E Hub for "Obsessed". ali larter damn psycho, she irritates and scares me. her character is suuuupperr psychotic, nnyeeahh.

gonna catch "The Haunting in Connecticut" tomorrow. my siblings keep asking me to go watch 'cos its nice, scary & creepy. they said it was like Poltergeist.. the mothafuckin' scary show that 3 of us watched together in the living room late at night because the 3 of us can't sleep. in the end, Poltergeist made us not sleep at all 'cos it was really that creeeeeeepy. TRUE STORY SOMEMORE OKAY!

"The Haunting in Connecticut" is also true story, i want to watch but i damn scared but i still wanna watch. i don't think i watched any horror films with my bibs before. LOL. i think i'll scare him more than the show does, bwaha!

so anyways, we saw loads of nice movie trailers which is giving my dear mr hu headaches. too many upcoming nice shows like Final Destination 4, G.I Joe, Gamer that he wanna watch.

there's even Sherlock Holmes the movie! just the other day i was talking to my colleague about Sherlock because she's an avid fan herself and basically read all his series plus how i wanted to borrow the book but it's on loan. coincidence coincidence!

righttt i can't seem to stop blabbering can i?

okay it's time for bed again.. that is after a few rounds of bejewelled!

taaaaah!

2009-07-11T01:33:00.003+08:00

me cant stop reading gossip websites & i'm sleepy as hell & super reluctant to surrender myself to the bed :(

and i just saw so many hot ladies.... Maria & Joan Krupa (DAMN HOT SISTERS!!!), Bar Rafaeli & Olivia Munn.. freak i want a body like hers. it seems ideal and realistic, just that she's wayyy taller and prettier. another more realistic one is Hayden Panettiere, she seems to have lost some weight and she's kinda getting hotter and hotter these days. ME WANT IT TOO.... BADLY!

okay i'm so damn motivated to lose that 6kg... who knows i might lose more! i wish! wishing wishing wishing....

so anyways, first day of eating oats for lunch was not so good. the milk was too thick, i got sick with the milkiness and i got damn full after a few scoops (that's prolly the plus side of it). i haven't got to try my yoghurt with the wheat bix, certainly hope it'll taste as good as the one i tried in aussie.

bet'cha sick of me talking about dieting and all.. so okay i'm done with it for the day. bwahahaha.

bibs and me just started watching this J-Drama called Goukusen, full of stupidity but quite nice to watch. LOL. apparently bibs got my interest mixed up!

he thought i like J-Drama but i actually love K-Drama, and then he got pissed (jokingly) at me for his own mistake of mixing up my interests. hmmmmmmm? LOL.

but 'nyways, i shall start watching J-Drama to show appreciation of my dum dum bibs effort of making me happy. after Goukusen will be 1 Litre of Tears, heard many reviews that the show's damn sad, fuckin sad, very very sad.

i also need to continue with my CSIs, Prison Break, Gossip Girl, Without A Trace and find a new korean series.

AND FIND A NEW JOB!

blaaaaccchque, i'm really zonkin' off.

once again, goooddaaaa nights.

2009-07-09T23:29:00.003+08:00

i'm damn bored the whole day, also grumpy, also damn nua.

& sha keep reminding me to slow down in doing my work 'else i'll be complaining about having nothing to do again and keep offering help to other people. nyahahaha.

i tried serving the web but within the next 5 mins, i don't know how i end up typing data into the system. i'm not saying i'm a hardworking person, i'm just saying that i've got this tendency to work non-stop till i'm finish for the day.

a very different person when compared to me being student, very very different. LOL.

besides that, we've been gossiping the whole day about a certain someone, zodiac signs & their respective behaviours, boyfriends, girlfriends, clubbing, drinking & our next job.

and btw, sha & me finally had the courage to tell H.L that we don't wanna extend. phew~~
thank goodness Y.M wasn't there or else double the stress :( but really larh, we kinda feel mean because they offered to extend our stay.

argh, i better find a better paying job soon.

okays other than that... i went to vivo alone today. because i'm in a super sian mood and just didnt feel like staying at home today. bought stuffs and i'm not gonna shop again till next month.

and healthy dieting starts tmr 'cos i already bought all the ingredients needed for my breakfast and lunch. WHEAT BIX & YOGHURT, OAT MEAL & MILK and lastly, MY SALAD (coming soon!)

now i just need to figure out how to bring to the office, i even bought a new lunch box from Daiso just now. LOL. yes this time i'm serious, after seeing myself in the fitting room just now i could just probably faint at the sight of my flabby fats. i'm getting that slight signal that's gonna motivate me to lose weight like the other time. just a slight one, more to come!

bleahs, time to sleep.

-i don't like being the last for the fourth day now... it's sickening.

2009-07-08T21:19:00.003+08:00

it's only 2.5 months and i have to find a new job.... again. this just seems too familiar again...

they asked whether i would like to extend and i've to give them an answer by tomorrow :(

sha's in a dilema, my sudden fickle minded indeciveness is affecting her choice in deciding too. but she has an advantage, no contract binding her. me on the other hand, have a contract which ends on the 31st of July, i have to let them know now because they have to let the director and my agency know. BLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH.

i hate situations like this. i can't think, i can't decide and like i was telling sha, the probability of me leaving is 70%. the 30% that is holding me back is because of my laziness in finding a new job, the thought of going thru interviews and shiiiaattts.

i have got one job offer now, pay wise it will not be better but it's understandable why and this whole new job sounds super interesting which i really dont mind. but.... it will eat into the weekends.

i'm searching for other jobs most prolly in the events line.. if not.. it'll be the boring administrative line again. and then i have to make new friends again and in another 3 months, i'll have to leave 'cos the contract ends and i'll be repeating the whole damn process till i finally DECIDE WHAT I WANNA STUDY!

okay enough of the mental war that's going on.. today there's this idiot fuck who pissed the hell out of me.

talk about customer service, by the time i phoned the idiot fuckeroo for the 3rd time, i know and i purposely sounded damn sarcastic. that fuckeroo was super sia lan, guai lan and how i wish he got sacked. he bloody hell act like as if he know what i was talking about and was so pissed at me in chasing the documents.

HAH! but guess what, when he emailed me the documents i realised he was talking about another thing and YET HE GOR THE LP TO BE pissed off at me. SO I FELT DAMN HAPPY COS I GET TO BE SARCASTIC BACK AT HIM. I CALLED HIM BACK, TOLD HIM WHAT HAPPEN AND I BET HE WAS EMBARRASSED AND HE SUDDENLY BECAME ALL SO NICE AND EVEN SAID "PLEASE" AND I HANG THE PHONE WITHOUT SAYING "THANK YOU" OR "BYE".

I FEEL DAMN FUCKIN' SHIOK THAT'S HE'S BEING MADE A CUCKOO OF HIMSELF AND HE KNOWS I'M PISSED AND SARCASTIC. WHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

know what? be nice to people on the phone 'cos you'll never know what happen, KEEP THAT IN MIND SMUG LJ FUCKER. thank goodness i was being patient all the time 'cos i know that the fax machine doesnt have anything wrong with it and people are able to fax over documents but why not him?! but anyways, i'll tell the story another time, in the next post.

for now, JOBBBBBB HUNT!

*it's a wednesday night....

2009-07-07T20:09:00.002+08:00

wha liew, i feel damn extra enormous today.

all the cellulite and fats are like all creeping out onto the surface of my body and it just seems super prominent today.

i guess i'm already up 6kg which is fucking as hell depressing me mentally but physically i'm still as lazy as a pig. why am i so motivation-less? i don't have the "oomph!".. or the adrenaline.... or the pump... or whatever i had the last time. it's just not here.

my square face has become round with the extra fats filling up the edges, my thighs are overflowing out of my knee which gives it a super weird flabby shape, my arms are forever huge and getting bigger and my hips is getting wider.

my deadline is October and i'm realllllly taking my own damn sweet time. no sense of urgency!!

goodness i'm desperate for just something to strike me so that i can lose weight. the other time i managed to did it was because of some bastard.

now i need the same event or some bastard to trigger my " I FUCKING WILL LOSE WEIGHT AND MAKE YOU SWALLOW MY FATS" to make me start working out.

I-N-C-O-N-S-I-S-T-E-N-T

yarh that's the word! i can work out dilligently for one whole week and the next, i'll just take a long break and never work out till i'm this depress again. and everytime when the extra adrenaline just flows, that time of the month just comes. it just happens like that and i'll start beating myself up for using my own period as an excuse for zillions of times.

but what the hell? by October, that's it. if i don't lose weight by that time, it's my own damn fucking fault and i have to say goodbye to my dream of being a pin-up girl on Halloweens.

and whose fault will it be?

ME, this christine tan jia lin the fatass who will never ever lose weight.

bwargh...i can just friggin' cut out my fats, LITERALLY!

ffwuuuuacccckk you.

2009-07-05T04:35:00.002+08:00

ello ello..

this week's main activities were...

Wednesday... Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs movie in 3D (storyline-so so, humour- DAMN GOOOD!, and first time watch 3D movie damn interesting)

Friday... 2nd Year Anniversary @ Melben (the delicious crab bee hoon noodle & the fuckin' good rojak chicken) & ( I LOVE YOU BABIBUUUUUUU!)

also on Friday... I Love You, Man movie (it's like depicting a story of my boyfriend, LOL!)

Saturday... tampines 1, east point to see the kitties competition, our usual saturday home movie+drinking session and then bowling at night (:

gonna be Sunday... tmr(which is actually today, Sunday) we will be "Making Nacho Salsa Chips" day! & are we gonna go joggin ah bibs?

so here are some of the pictures....... damn lazy to upload so many.

we were too excited and too lame, thus this idiotic picture of us with the 3D specs. LOL!

cheesecake from Hokaido Fair @ Tampines Mall ( the verdict of the taste: okay only larh)

i gotta go sleep now! nightsy world!

2009-06-29T22:52:00.002+08:00

ii'mm cravin' for alot alot alot alot of food..

bbq stingray, lala, bbq fish, kangkong, chut-chut ( or whatever it's called), tom yam soup, pig liver mee sua, garlic mussels from fish & co..

goodness, i'm a pig. LOL.. already am.

when will it be our next class gathering or chalet? i think chalet is out due to H1N1.. but anyways, i want to eat at chomp chomp or wherever there's nice bbq food.

on the other hand... i need to be less heavier by October, which means... i gotta control eating those yummy stuffs.

gosh i'm still so hungry, punggol nasi lemak for supper sounds damn good for now but i'll be asking for a slap to be so easy in giving in to temptation.

where's the temptation to exercise instead.

and i need to find a new job.... soon.

and i also want to go to Central Coast; lie on the soft glittery sand looking out into the horizon. omg, how i miss that so much..

i wanna shop too. actually nah.. wait till i'm down 2 sizes. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

11pm soon, i need to sleep and feel like a dumb hungry ass the whole night.

suddenly i feel like owning one small car where i can just go cruising in the pathetic streets of Singapore and hog the mee rebus stall at the Tanjong Pagar Railway Station...

EH WHEN ARE WE EATING THE MEE REBUS AGAIN AH??!?!?!??!

shiaaattt, now i'm even more hungry and angry and pissed off.

mengabaikan
(don't even know whether this is the right word, LOL, but sheesh, fuck who cares?)

*you can only be 21 once, pause the restrictions for now please. till tomorrow.. or some other day, goodnight shitty monday, hello to whatevers-coming on tuesday. LET IT BE GOOOOD!